So Young, but the Fun Is Gone: How Hormones Can Make or Break Your Sexual Experience

She has had sex for two years, but can’t feel a thing. She used to enjoy herself during sex, now she only does it to make her boyfriend happy. Why has she lost her sex drive, and why can’t she feel anything?

Case #: 1661

Concern：

I started having sex when I was 17-years-old and I am now 19-years-old. I have a problem with my vagina. It seems like my vagina has just gone numb; I can't feel anything. I have had sex before and it was really pleasurable, but now it seems like the pleasure is gone and I can't feel anything. I don't even look forward to having sex. I mostly do it for my boyfriend so he can enjoy himself, but I don't feel anything. Is there anything that can be done to boost my sex drive? It would be nice to have the passion to want to have sex and to be able to have sex that is pleasing. Something I can feel.

Discussion：

What a horrible situation for a young woman to be in! It’s so sad to think that you’re not experiencing any pleasure during sex. I can suggest what the problem might be, but it’s important that you also consider your personal relationship. Is it in a good place? Do you feel emotionally nourished and cared for? Does your boyfriend do anything to make you want to have sex? Are you turned-on by him? Is there any explicit reason why you’re not? These kinds of questions need to be considered, before you start thinking there’s something wrong with you.

Changing Life, Changing Hormones

The situation you’re describing sounds to me as though your hormonal makeup has changed. Obviously, hormones control sexual desire and pleasure—testosterone controls your desire and arousal, estrogen and oxytocin provide the triggers for dopamine and serotonin to give you a good time. It’s perfectly natural for your hormones to change between teenagehood and adulthood, and it’s possible that your new setup isn’t adequately serving your needs.

Low Drive

Your desire having been diminished, it sounds to me as though your testosterone levels are low. Women don’t need a lot of testosterone, but without it, you’ll notice your arousal and desire levels ebbing away. Testosterone also helps to keep your muscles toned and your metabolism in a happy place—you can begin to put on weight without its protective aegis and not know why.

To increase testosterone in a woman, it’s usually enough to begin using a cream that contains testosterone, applied directly to the genitals. The tract amount of the hormone will be just enough to slightly increase your overall levels, without causing excess hair or any other negative side effect.

Hormone Hang-Ups

Estrogen and oxytocin are a bit trickier to determine and control. Oxytocin is dependent on certain levels of estrogen to function properly. Estrogen can be increased through the ingestion of specific foods high in estrogen mimickers (phytoestrogens), which provide the body with a semblance of estrogen, and none of the dangers associated with taking in more estrogen, such as breast or ovarian cancer.

These beneficial foods include soy products, flax seed oil, legumes, beans, and clovers. There are also specific herbs that include this property: Black Cohosh, Mexican Wild Yam, Fenugreek, and Chasteberry.

Up Your NO

While you work out your hormone levels (you might consider seeing a doctor for an accurate reading—it can be tested through saliva) I suggest you try an L-Arginine supplement. (SEE: Argining for Sexual Sensitivity Enhancement) This amino acid, when ingested, is translated into Nitric Oxide. Nitric Oxide increases sensation in the genitals by improving blood flow. Improved blood flow can help combat low sex drive and arousal as well. I hope you find pleasure in your sex life soon!

What to do

Arginine For Better Female Sexual Sensitivity

Heart disease remains the leading cause of death between men and women. A whopping 64 million Americans suffer from cardiovascular disease. And while a healthy heart may attribute to longevity, so too will a healthy sex lif