The Pain of Intercourse Is Too Much: She Only Has Sex to Please Her Boyfriend and Is Desperate for Some Pleasure

She’s had a total of three lovers and with each has only experienced pain during intercourse. Her current boyfriend really enjoys sex, which is the reason she continues to engage. But the pain is to the point now that she’s ready to entirely stop making love.

Case #: 1657

Concern：

I have had the same problem with both of my previous sexual partners: we couldn’t have sex because it hurt. Now, with my current boyfriend, I was able to have sex once, but it wasn’t even pleasurable for me. The only reason I kept going was because I saw how pleasurable it was for him, and I didn’t want to ruin that. I have always had sex using condoms, and each time it hurts without any pleasure. I am not sure if this is normal, but I don’t want to have sex if it’s going to be like this every time. Is this going to continue happening? How can I stop it?

Discussion：

People generally attribute low sex drive to middle-aged women, but this condition can strike at any time, particularly when pain during intercourse is involved. Although this pain is not normal, it certainly isn’t uncommon either. Harvard University reports millions of women experience discomfort during sex. The culprit isn’t easy to pinpoint because a variety of factors may be at work. But you don’t have to continue in this same vein – sex can be as pleasurable for you as it is for your boyfriend.

Putting a Name to Intercourse Pain

The name given to intercourse pain is dyspareunia. Women with this condition experience pain in a number of different ways. Some are afflicted as soon as their partner’s penis touches the vaginal entrance, while others feel abdominal pain as their partners thrust during intercourse. A sub-category of dyspareunia is vaginismus, or the contraction of vaginal muscles at the time of penetration. In extreme cases, vaginismus prevents women from engaging in intercourse altogether.

Both dyspareunia and vaginismus have long been considered sexual disorders. But in 2009, a study published by Live Science suggested painful sex is a result of sensitive pain networks. This means the condition may be a pain disorder that has nothing to do with intercourse – it’s merely triggered by sex.

The point in knowing this is to understand your genitals aren’t deformed or malfunctioning. You’re also not doing anything wrong during sex, although you do need to openly communicate with your partner about your feelings. Let him know when something hurts – this opens the door for the two of you to explore new positions and techniques that might feel better to you.

Why Some Women Don’t Feel Pleasure

One of the most common threads in women with dyspareunia is their perception of sex. They anticipate pain and therefore fear intercourse – a symptom that may result from a poor first experience. A partner who doesn’t take his time and isn’t attentive to a woman’s sexual needs only makes this situation worse. Older women tend to understand that sex should feel good to males and females alike. Younger women, on the other hand, might need to be reminded of this.

That is why we’re telling you to stop engaging in any sexual act that brings you pain or discomfort. Sex should be mutually satisfying. If you’re making love to your boyfriend only for his pleasure, you will continue to be disappointed.

Focus on Your Sweet Spot

One of the best ways to change your opinion of sex is to masturbate. It allows you ample opportunity to find what brings you pleasure without worrying about your boyfriend’s needs or wants. Most women reach orgasm with clitoral stimulation, and masturbating can help you find this spot and learn what type of touch feels best.

A number of ladies who report clitoral insensitivity with intercourse actually find their clits are alive and well during self-pleasure. This is likely because the pressure to perform for their partners is off the table. So take your time, use a gentle touch and don’t be afraid to explore.

Put Your Sex Drive into Overdrive

Now that you know pain during sex can be overcome with communication and self-exploration, it’s time to talk about your sex drive. Arginine is a natural supplement that opens arteries to improve blood flow and balance hormones. (SEE: Natural Herbal Sexual Sensitivity Enhancement Formula) This is important because it can help relieve your sexual pain, increase your genital sensitivity and rev up your libido. With Arginine, you will quickly realize sex can be enjoyable.