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When Sex Loses it’s Charm

Sexually abused woman finds herself uncomfortable with intimacy. While she had begun to enjoy sex after marriage to her husband, now, at 49, she finds she’s lost interest in sex. Why doesn’t she want sex anymore?

Case #: 803


For several decades, I hid my sexual abuse from friends, family and my partners. The abuse damaged my mind. It left my mind a dilapidated wasteland of depression, anxiety and intimacy problems. I avoided sex with my partners, making excuses at every instance. And when I married my husband, I finally started to enjoy sex and feel comfortable with my body.

Now at the age of 49, I still experience moderate intimacy problems, especially with arousal. I just feel tired with sex. I don’t desire it any more—not like I did before. But still, I engage in sex to keep my husband content. What’s wrong with me?


I’m so sorry you have been through such a trial in your life. However, I’m happy to say there’s nothing wrong with you. Or, the problems you are experiencing are not uncommon for a woman your age, and they are treatable. The reason you have lost interest in sex is due to your erratic hormone levels. During menopause, a woman experiences all kinds of changes in her body and mind—many of these changes are the result of her fluctuating hormone levels. Your loss of interest in sex is linked to two hormones specifically—estrogen and testosterone.

Real Hormones

In order to once again feel desire, you must stabilize the levels of your hormones. Many women find relief from low-dose testosterone creams, which can be applied directly to the vagina or clitoris to increase sexual response and desire. While you can also apply estrogen topically, it will not have a systemic effect on your body unless you begin taking an estrogen supplement—in the form of a pill or patch. It is generally regarded as a risky behavior to begin taking pure estrogen, as it is linked to uterine and breast cancers, and carries as well the danger of blood clots.

Don’t let this steer you away from estrogen! Estrogen is made up of three separate chemicals: estrone, estradiol, and estriol. Estradiol is the strongest of the three, and is also the safest. If you’re going to begin estrogen therapy, talk to your doctor or compounding pharmacist about a formula featuring estradiol.

Hormone Copiers

Perhaps a less frightening method of increasing your androgen and estrogen levels is to increase your phytoestrogen intake. Phytoestrogens have been proven to mimic the action of estrogen on the body, meaning, they will raise your estrogen levels without being true estrogen, but also, they have been shows to increase androgen production, and decrease cortisol levels.

I’m sure that sounds like a bunch of jargon, but what it means is: some plants contain chemicals that are estrogen mimickers, known as phytoestrogens, which the body treats as estrogen (eg. Increasing vaginal lubrication, increasing genital tissue thickness, etc.). These chemicals also affect the body by increasing androgen production, i.e. testosterone and DHEA, and decreasing cortisol (a stress hormone). The effects will be seen on a smaller scale than if you choose to pursue direct hormone replacement therapy, but there is less to fear in potentially negative side effects.

Where Do I Find These…Phytoestrogens?

How do you begin to take in more phytoestrogens? I’m glad you asked. This natural compound contains herbs that contain high levels of phytoestrogens—effectively boosting your sexuality on all fronts. (SEE: Sexual Passion Booster)Many of the herbs in this tonic are also chosen to increase sexual response and reaction in women, and help to strengthen circulation and genital health. I hope that with these tips you soon begin enjoying sex, rather than just undergoing it!

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Views: 154

Ideas: Women's, Low Sex Drive

Blog ID: 60411

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