So Close Yet So Far Away

Learn about a woman who just can't seem to have an orgasm, no matter how hard she tries.

Case #: 1499

Concern：

I always feel as if I am close to orgasm when having sex but I can never achieve it. During sex with my boyfriend I sometimes feel as though I am close to orgasm but I can just never achieve it. What can all this be? I just want to be able to bring myself to orgasm once again without the use of toys and such things. My boyfriend and I are both getting really frustrated with the fact that no matter what happens, no matter what we do, we can't make me have an orgasm. I don't blame him if he wants to leave me. I know this is really frustrating.

Discussion：

We all know that the differences between men and women are extremely clear cut. The same goes for how we experience pleasure. Unlike most men, not all women are able to orgasm every time they engage in sexual activity. Achieving an orgasm as a female has both psychological and physical components. I know from personal experience, that if I'm not in the right head space to receive pleasure, I will not be able to have a full sexual experience that ends with an orgasm.

Clitoral Problems

Many women have problems properly stimulating their clitoris during sexual intercourse. About eighty-five percent of women can only reach climax if their clitoris is stimulated the right way. I've found that the best way to achieve the proper amount of clitoral stimulation is to get up and on. While you are riding your partner in frontward facing cowgirl position, try leaning forward and grinding your clitoris on his pelvic bone. It is very important that you set the pace during this time, most likely your boyfriend will not mind this.

The Vibrating Factor

The use of vibrators can sometimes damage the sensitive nerve endings and tissues within the clitoris and other parts of the vagina. Because of this, vibrators should be treated like donuts, only a sometimes snack. In addition to vibrators, there are several other possibilities that might be contributing to your orgasm difficulty. Urinary or bowel difficulties, pelvic surgery, headaches, and neurological disorders are just some of the possible contributing factors. Medications such as antidepressants, antihistamines, and chemotherapy drugs are notorious for decreasing a woman's sex drive and staling the ability to reach orgasm.

How To Fix It

Luckily there are some great natural remedies that can help bring back some of that lost sensitivity. Herbs like Passion Flower, Fo Ti, Black Cohosh, Muira Puama, and Turkey Rhubarb are great vaginal rejuvenation tools. (SEE: Natural Formula for Vaginal Repair & Restoration) These herbs will help to promote the natural production of the female sex hormones, estrogen and progesterone. They will also improve blood circulation and increase prostaglandin production, which helps the vagina and uterine muscles relax.

I would also suggest staying away from toys and vibrators for a few months, so that your clitoral nerve endings and vaginal tissues are allowed the proper time to heal. If you do not see an improvement after six months, I would recommend talking with your doctor about your clitoral and vaginal concerns.