Military Masturbation: Surviving While on Duty
Guys have certain needs. You go a week, two weeks, even a month without any form of sexual release, but before long, your sanity begins to suffer. Your penis becomes like a raging volcano that's just about ready to take on a life of its own, and your mind is plagued by thoughts of homicidal unrest. It's all you can do to keep from going full werewolf on your fellow man. Yeah, we all have needs, but it's not always easy to fulfill those needs. Imagine you're surviving overseas in the military, and you're surrounded by your fellow servicemen and women every moment of every day. There may be landmines on the battlefield, but there's one in your pants. How is a good soldier to cope?
Tips for Military Masturbation
If you want to maintain your sexual sanity while on duty, you need to understand a few things. For starters, everyone does it, and a mutual respect exists among comrades when it comes to the masturbatory arts. If you catch one of your fellow troops engaging in an act of self-love late one night, just stay quiet and leave him to finish his business in peace. You'll find that your uniformed brothers will—by and large—pay the same courtesy to you.
Also, you'll notice that things such as spare socks and even tissues may be in short supply when you need them most. This raises the question of sanitary cleanup. Some soldiers have reported spilling their seed onto the floor between the racks. Bear in mind that this might win you some cleanup duty, but if you're in a desperate pinch late one night, it might be your only recourse.
In some cases, men have also reported designating “jack shacks,” which are small and sometimes crudely constructed rooms or areas set aside specifically for men who need to take care of their urges. If you're new to your unit, don't be afraid to ask some of your new brothers about the basic protocol. Chances are, you will not have been the first person to raise the question, and you may be surprised to learn that there's already a complex and ingenious process set aside.
Masturbating in the Military – What NOT to Do
First of all, do NOT masturbate while on duty. Those trenches can get boring, but masturbating while on the job is considered a dereliction of duty. It can wait. Second, be courteous to others who may ultimately have to share your standard-issue sleeping bag. You might think it's no big deal to ejaculate onto the fabric of your smelly old sleeping bag, but someone else may have to use that at a later time. Come to think of it, someone may already have ejaculated into the sleeping bag that you're using right now. Sweet dreams.
It's Really No Big Deal
If an occasional ejaculation boosts your morale, then by all means, do it, and have no shame about it. Heaven knows you aren't the only one, and countless others have been in your exact same awkward predicament. It's just going to take a bit of getting used to, as you're probably not yet accustomed to spending so much time in such close proximity with so many other people. Before long, you'll forget those other guys are even in the room with you.
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