A Sinking Feeling: What It Means When He Just Can’t Stay Hard
Ladies, how familiar are you with this experience? You’re getting it on with a guy, things are going great, you’re both into it, he’s ready to go, clothes are flying everywhere, the action begins and…then, all of a sudden, the goods have gone soft. Umm…what?
A Bad Setup
If you haven’t had an encounter like this, you’re a lucky gal. For me, it’s one of the most embarrassing situations you can find yourself in. I instantly begin flashing on all the things that could have caused the problem. Am I not pretty enough? Do I smell? Is my technique bad? *Gasp* Is it my vagina?!
And he either tries to work through it, “Uh, uh, don’t stop” or breaks down into profuse apology, “I’m sorry, I’m so sorry, it’s just me…” leaving you wondering what to do. Obviously, sex can’t continue properly with a soft penis. That’s just a fact. But do you confront him if he’s content to keep smushing it into you? Do you console him if he’s on the verge of impotent tears?
The only good thing about this is that it’s really neither of your faults. If he can’t stay hard past the thirty second mark, and you haven’t been drinking, doing coke, or any other drug, and if he’s not older than forty, chances are you have a leaker. Again, umm…what?
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Where Has All the Good Blood Gone?
It’s not uncommon for males to have venous leaks. That means, whereas blood normally flows into the penis and stays there for a while, something has occurred so that almost as quickly as the blood comes in, it flows out again. So, it’s not you! He could have damaged it earlier in life and not realized, or he could have issues with low testosterone, which is causally linked to venous leak. Luckily, there’s a solution.
Keep It In
There’s a product specific to men suffering from venous leak. It’s similar to a cock ring, but it allows for degrees of contraction, and it constricts the penis in a different way, allowing blood to enter, but not to escape. Normal cock rings are nonadjustable, and are meant to be put in place once the penis is fully engorged. Needless to say, this type of ring isn’t going to help a guy with a venous leak.
Choices, Choices
The venous leak loops can be fitted around just the penis or around the penis and testicles together. The latter guarantees an exceedingly firm erection, and both varieties can be applied even before engorgement begins, so there are no awkward hang-ups in the moment. Besides the loop, there isn’t any proven treatment for venous leak, so if you’ve got a leaker, you’ve got him for life—at this time.
No Other Option
Scientists are experimenting with the possibility that tying some of the feeder arteries to the penis might diminish the amount of blood lost, potentially negating the problem, but there are no conclusive results from that research yet. I can’t imagine there is an overabundance of test subjects; no one wants to have their genitals potentially destroyed in the name of science.
Play It Cool
But let’s bring it back to us. If you’re with a guy and he loses it in the first minute, don’t stress about it. It’s not you, it’s not him, it’s just nature. Don’t lose your cool, feel ashamed, or give him a hard time. Just switch gears. Many women have an easier time reaching orgasm from direct clitoral stimulation anyhow, and this could be just the excuse you need to capitalize on that. I’m sure he’d be willing after his, ahem, bad showing.
Put a Ring On It
If you’re in a long-term relationship with a leaker, why not consider buying him a loop? (TRY: Penile Loops for Venous Leak Relief) I think you’d be surprised how efficacious they are. I really can’t imagine having regular sex with a man who never stays hard, so I should think you’d be only too happy to restore balance to your sexual relationship. The little devices are actually quite cost-effective, and won’t interfere with your ability to enjoy sex either. Buy yourself a ring. You’re worth it.
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