When Birth Control Ruins Intimacy

He and his fiancé have abstained from sex for two months to intensify the pleasure of their honeymoon. In the meantime, he is looking for ways to increase both her libido and lovemaking satisfaction – her oral contraceptive causes pain during sex that is negatively affecting him and her.

Case #: 584

Concern：

My fiancé and I are about to get married. We have had sex a lot, but we’ve decided to quit doing it for about two months because of the problems she is having. I already used some solutions from your site and thought they could help her, too. She’s 26 and has medium to low sex drive with pain during intercourse. The pain is not unbearable, but every time I get going, if I go too deep it hurts her. She is a former distance runner who is on birth control. What would you suggest? I’m hoping it’ll be something that will make her want to do it all honeymoon long. Thanks.

Discussion：

Almost every woman in the United States has, at some point, taken birth control to enjoy greater sexual freedom without the risk of pregnancy. But as evidenced by your fiancé, oral contraceptives can dilute sexual pleasure and even reduce quality of life. It is important that you not lose patience with your fiancé, who is probably as frustrated as you are in the bedroom. She needs your support during this time, and with a little understanding you can both equally enjoy sex.

History of the Pill

The pill was first introduced in 1960 to help women avoid unwanted pregnancies. However, early varieties contained high levels of hormones that likely contributed to a number of blood clots and subsequent deaths.

In response to growing concerns over women’s health and the safety of oral contraceptives, drug companies now manufacture low hormone birth control pills. These are supposed to be safer than and as effective as their predecessors, but they are not without their own consequences.

Unwanted Side Effects

One of the greatest problems with oral contraceptives is their trigger of unwanted side effects. Many women experience pelvic pain that can extend from just below the belly button down to the vagina. Pain during sex is also common and may intensify upon orgasm. Although health care providers do not understand the link between pelvic pain and birth control, some believe the culprit is low levels of estrogen in the body.

A second side effect of birth control is reduced sexual desire, which may also be responsible for your fiancé’s pelvic pain. It’s no secret that birth control interferes with the body’s natural release of hormones, including testosterone.

This chemical – together with estrogen – helps maintain a woman’s libido, but oral contraceptives often reduce testosterone levels and diminish sexual appetite. Lack of response to sex can make it a painful process to endure, and once a woman associates pain with sex, she’s going to want it even less.

Solution to the Problem

Your fiancé should speak to her doctor about reducing or even stopping her birth control medication. She may want to consider switching to a different pill, or the two of you may decide to use an alternative contraceptive – the pill isn’t the only means to avoid pregnancy. This might also be a good time to discuss how the two of you can strengthen your relationship so she feels more desire in the bedroom.

An all-natural herbal remedy (see: Vaginal RH Formula) can expel birth control toxins from her body to speed up the recovery process. Herbs can also balance her hormones and reduce the feeling of pain during intercourse. Ingredients like Mexican Wild Yam enhance sexual desire, while Curculigo repairs vaginal and g-spot tissues so orgasms are more profound. The goal is to safely restore her libido so she sees sex as an intimate and pleasurable experience, rather than a chore to be endured.