Wanting What You Can’t Have: This Mother of Two Hasn’t Reached Orgasm Since Giving Birth

After enduring the rigors of childbirth, she’s discovered her vagina and clit contain very little sensation. This has translated to a problem with reaching orgasm, even when using her vibrator at top speed, which has only added to her problem rather than solve it. Can she overcome the combined effects of labor and vibrator damage?

Case #: 1809

Concern：

I am a 38 year-old mother of two who has experienced little vaginal/clitoral stimulation ever since childbirth. When I use a vibrator, I require higher and higher speeds to orgasm – if I even orgasm. I spoke to my OB/GYN about my lack of stimulation, but she said everything appeared OK. I want to feel the release and pleasure that come with orgasms. Can you give me any advice?

Discussion：

The exam your OB/GYN performed was likely a visual inspection of your genitals. She’s right – your external body parts can appear normal even when something is wrong internally. This is not to say you have a hideous disease or illness, but that your body has changed since giving birth. On top of that, overuse of a vibrator has desensitized your nerves. While your body may appear in perfect working order, you know something is amiss.

From the Delivery Room to Daily Life

After childbirth, a woman must take care of more than her newborn child. She must also devote time and attention to her own health, but few women talk about this much less practice it.

The female body changes after childbirth. We’re talking about more than vaginal stretching – the whole of a woman’s abdomen pushes, pulls and stretches during delivery. After such hard labor, every tissue that supports the abdominal organs becomes fatigued. Those tissues form the pelvic floor muscles, and according to Psychology Today, women who endure vaginal deliveries have significantly weaker pelvic floor muscles than those who undergo cesarean sections.

Sexual responses are complex and vary from woman to woman, but a loss of pelvic floor strength corresponds to a loss of orgasm. During the big O, muscles throughout the body contract to provide that pleasurable sense of release. Even the uterus contracts in a pleasurable way. When muscles and connective tissues grow weak, they cannot contract as freely as necessary for sexual satisfaction.

The Duplicity of Sex Toys

The pelvic floor can lose strength without a woman realizing it. Similarly, a woman’s ability to orgasm can diminish without her stopping to wonder why. This means that during intercourse and masturbation, the focus rests only on one goal: to climax. A person can be wholly single-minded in this pursuit and not consider the underlying reasons behind orgasm difficulty.

Herein is one of the hidden dangers with sex toys: they don’t come with guides that explain the female anatomy. They are designed, packaged and marketed only as erotic instruments. The reality is that most women need clitoral stimulation to orgasm. The vagina is not a sex organ, so intercourse rarely brings a woman to pleasure.

Conversely, the clitoris is a sex organ and has no function other than to make a woman feel good. Its extreme sensitivity is the result of thousands of nerve endings packed into a small space. This design allows most women to come fairly easily with some rubbing and/or stroking, but it also puts the clit in harm’s way.

Sex toys are mechanical and, when used occasionally, serve their purpose just fine. But repeated application of a vibrator to the clit leads to nerve desensitization. This means the nerves stop responding to stimulation. As more pressure is applied and higher speeds used to still reach orgasm, vibrators continue to damage delicate clitoral tissues. In time, the damaged nerves evoke pain rather than pleasure.

Take the Road to Recovery

Luckily, nerve damage is a temporary problem. But before you can reclaim your sexual satisfaction, you must ditch the vibrator – at least for a while. We recommend you take a respite from masturbation so your clitoris can fully heal.

You also need to concentrate on vaginal health – specifically, a way to rejuvenate pelvic floor muscles and restore your vagina to a more youthful state. A remedy to try is VRD Formula III, blended specifically to prevent pain during intercourse and help your body expel unwanted toxins. (SEE: Vaginal Restoration & Detox for Intercourse Pain Formula) This will help balance your hormones, repair damaged tissues and increase sensitivity.