Sexless Wife = Much Strife

Man wonders why his wife isn’t interested in sex, even though it’s been several months since she had her child. Why doesn’t she want him anymore, and what can he do to re-interest her in their sex life?

Case #: 662

Concern：

My wife has lost interest in sex after our second baby was born in May. She is still breastfeeding and had Gestational Diabetes. What can be done to restore her interest? I think there is a hormonal problem but she disagrees. I love her and I have a very high libido and want to fix this. Thanks!

Discussion：

You’re right, the root of your problem is her hormones; but they aren’t doing anything they’re not supposed to be doing! When a woman breastfeeds, it releases the hormone prolactin, which causes a woman to be very uninterested in sex, much more interested in nesting behaviors and being with the baby, and makes sexual encounters pretty much uninspiring for her.

The reason for this is biology: it’s a preventative measure to keep women from having too many children at once. If a woman is engaged in breastfeeding (and protecting, caring for, and hauling around) one child, it’s probably not a good idea for her to have another; thus, Nature tells her to stop being interested in sex. But, there are ways around this roadblock.

Give Her a Break

Honestly, I don’t think it’s very husbandly of you to expect your wife, who just had nine months of another creature living inside her and feeding off of her, culminating in expelling that creature through a hole at the proportions of 14:4, respectively, to meet your “very high libido” requirements.

In my opinion, if you’re old enough to create another human being, it seems to me that you’re old enough to take care of your sexual needs alone until your wife is ready and willing to engage in intercourse.

However, if you do want to give your wife pleasure, and get something in return, I suggest you stop pestering her about “your needs” and try to make the experience about her. Perhaps with a few such encounters she will begin to come willingly to the marriage bed.

Touché!

The most important thing to remember when trying to seduce a breastfeeding woman is touch. And not where you think! Jumping right into rubbing her genitals isn’t going to engender you to her at all; the prolactin levels remove some of the sensitivity from those places, and it will probably just be irritating to her, both because it won’t feel good, and because she’ll think you’re just trying to “rev her up”, so to speak, to prepare for entry. Start slow, and then begin by gently fondling and caressing her breasts.

By stimulating the breasts, and especially the nipples (as she seems into it, they’re probably tender), you release oxytocin, which allows her to feel more sensation in her prolactin-dulled clitoris and vagina, as well as preparing her body to experience orgasm, and giving her a feeling of love and closeness with you. You should also be sure to give her much, much, more reassurance of her sexiness than you would normally, or than even seems rational!

You cannot give her too much positive reinforcement and loving caresses at this time. She might be opposed to hopping right into bed for sex; try offering her a massage, or brush her hair, or anything to get her relaxed and feeling intimate with just you and her, preferably in an amour-inducing locale. From there you can begin to open her to the sexual intimacy.

Once you get her going, she will want to have sex, you just need to prepare her first, without her knowing at the back of her mind that you’re just rushing through the preliminaries to get to the real action.

Show her that you enjoy each moment of your encounter, and that you enjoy pleasing her, and want her to feel good. With such an attentive, sensual approach, she can’t help but fall into your arms.

The Roller Coaster of Love

Besides a topical approach to the solution, you might consider giving her an herbal tonic designed to mediate her hormone levels. By reducing prolactin levels, and increasing oxytocin levels, she will begin to be less antithetical towards sex, and more willing to play without all the preliminaries.

The combination of herbal therapy (SEE: Botanical Remedy to Detoxify and Intensify Orgasm) and your targeted advances will certainly have her more receptive to your advances in no time.