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I think I Can, I Think I Can…She and Her Boyfriend Both Want Her to Reach Orgasm, But Nothing They’ve Tried Works

Embarrassed and worried, she doesn’t orgasm during sex. She admittedly enjoys intercourse and tries to climax with different positions and even squeezing together her legs. But nothing so far has worked. Now her “problem” is starting to interfere with her relationship. She wants a fast solution before the situation gets worse.

Case #: 1721


I am really embarrassed writing about this. I have experienced an orgasm during sex, but only once in my life and with an ex-partner. I am currently in a loving relationship and my not being able to orgasm has now become an issue. I really enjoy myself during sex, and I try to squeeze my muscles together to reach orgasm, but it doesn’t work. We have tried all sorts of position, and he isn’t small – his size is actually perfect. What can we do as a couple to help me reach orgasm?


Problems in the bedroom cause angst for many women, but here is a startling statistic: 25 percent of all women struggle to orgasm at some point in their lives. The reasons vary, but this information shows you’re not alone. In addition, 70 percent of all women never climax from vaginal penetration. We’ll help you understand why in just a moment.

The Perfect Orgasm

Orgasm requires more than perfect sex, although that certainly helps. It is a complex process that starts in the brain, not your genitalia. The first step is excitement, in which you want sex in order to fulfill a physical desire. Before you can even get to this crucial step, you must feel safe and secure in your relationship.

During step one, significant physical changes occur to male and female bodies. You feel these changes as increased heart rate, rapid breathing and wetness in your vagina. The second step is known as plateau, in which the physical changes become more pronounced. For the third step, orgasm, nerve receptors in the clitoris and vagina send messages to the brain that alert it to every sexual sensation you experience. The pudendal nerve in women relays messages directly from the clitoris. Other crucial sexual nerves include the hypogastric, pelvic and vagus nerve.

After orgasm – marked by muscle contractions and the deep release of sexual tension – the body enters a state of resolution. Heart rate slows back to normal, genitalia return to their usual size and you feel sated and sleepy. But you can’t enter this phase without orgasm, meaning your sexual experience isn’t complete without the big “o.”

Why You Need Clitoral Stimulation

Remember when we said most women do not reach orgasm with vaginal penetration? That’s because the vagina is not a sexual organ. Of course stimulating the G-spot allows some women to climax, but the exact location of this spot can be tricky to find. To further complicate matters, some women don’t like their G-spots touched at all – the sensation is less than pleasing. So we recommend you stick with the clitoris.

The problem is that intercourse – especially the missionary position – doesn’t always give the clit its due. What you therefore need is direct attention to this organ. One of the best ways to get clitoral stimulation is with your boyfriend’s fingers. Have him rub, stroke or tap your clit until you wriggle with pleasure. It’s a sure-fire way to bring you to orgasm.

Another option is oral sex, which can provide a balanced combination of stimulation and wetness to your clit. Still another option is to explore new ways in which to have intercourse. You said the two of you have tried a number of different positions, but there’s always room for new and exciting discoveries.

Overcome the Inability to Orgasm

In addition to the right frame of mind and sexual technique, your clit must also be in tip-top shape. Some women struggle with hormone imbalances caused by birth control pills or unhealthy diets that interfere with sensory nerve reception. Another common problem is desensitization caused by over-stimulation of the clit. Either condition can occur in women of all ages.

One of the simplest and most effective ways to overcome orgasm dysfunction is with a vibrating cock ring. (TRY: Cock Rings for Enhanced Orgasms) Yes, this device must be worn by your partner, but it provides direct stimulation to your clitoris. This means you’ll orgasm with any position the two of you try. A cock ring will also intensify his pleasure – it’s a win-win for both of you.

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Ideas: Women's, Orgasm Difficulty

Blog ID: 62022

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