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Dipping Your Toes In The BDSM Pool

Do you have a sexually adventurous spirit, but you don't know how to bring the sexy subject up to your significant other?
Case #: 1878
Concern:

I've been with my boyfriend for a few months now, and we've had sex plenty of times. It's always good, but I feel like he's used to intercourse that is rougher than I am. I want to try out some of the things he's suggested, but I am shy and a little intimidated. Is there really any way to ease yourself into something like BDSM?
Discussion:

I definitely understand how you feel! The first time my man suggested we do something in the bedroom that involved taking a trip to the local adult store, I was terrified. I trusted my boyfriend, but that didn't change the fact that I had never done anything that involved things besides two naked, and willing bodies.
Break Out The Whips And Chains
The weird thing was, even though I was scared out of my wits about trying it out, I also was super excited and titillated just thinking of all the sexual possibilities something like a riding crop could bring about. So, out we went, hand in hand to the adult toy store. And it was actually pretty fun.
I'm more of a visual learner myself, so actually being able to see how things were meant to be used, and how to access pleasure from these items made the whole idea a lot less intimidating.
By the time we left the store, I had picked out a fury pair of purple handcuffs, a black lace blindfold, a cat-o-nine tails whip, and a ridding crop.
Easing Into Things

As BDSM goes, my first foray into the realm was pretty mild for anyone who is heavily into it. There are many aspects of this kind of sexual pleasure, and though some aspects of life are done the right way by jumping into it head first, bondage and sadomasochism are not. You must go at your own pace with these kinds of things, or before you know it, you're wearing a gimp mask and getting spanked with an electric steal rode.
You must tell your partner what you are willing to do, and what is completely out of the question. I would encourage anyone who is interested in seeing what BDSM is all about to go to your local adult store so that you can really see what you might be dealing with. And take your boyfriend or girlfriend... or husband, or wife. This is, after all, both of your sex lives you're dealing with.
If I were to suggest some mild products or tools for a BDSM starter kit, I would say handcuffs and candles are a must. (SEE: BDSM Candle Fetish System) Blindfolds are always useful as well. If you're really hankering for a spanking, I would recommend starting off with something of a lower impact than a whip. You can actually find some good spanking material lying around your home. A ping pong paddle or a plastic cooking spatula will do the trick in a pinch.
BDSM Level: Advanced

Once you've become well versed in the art of bondage and sadomasochism, you might be interested in upping the ante. Hot candle wax is a pretty common way of integrating that kind of 'high intensity' aspect of sexual pleasure. Just be sure you are both ready for something like this, and never spring it up while improvising in the bedroom. Candle play is definitely a facet of BDSM that should be talked about and loosely planned out before hand. It is not something you do on the fly.

What to do

A Candle-Buying Guide for BDSM Couples

[More Details +]

Views: 59

Ideas: Men's, Sexual Wellbeing, Women's, Sexual Wellness

Blog ID: 58489

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