Fresh To Death: How Inexperience Is Killing Your Hookups
Boy meets girl. You guys grab a coffee, things are going well, follow-up date includes dinner and a movie, next date is drinks and dancing, you can tell she’s into your moves, you go back to your place, knock boots, but the next morning she’s out of there like a fly ball, and all your subsequent invitations go politely declined.
Does Not Compute
What just happened? She had definitely been ready to go when you’d got back to the house. It’s not like it was your first time in bed. You thought things had gone well; she didn’t orgasm, but you’d heard that’s normal for women. Why the cold shoulder?
You’re Doing It Wrong
Hey all you dudes out there! Just because you’ve had sex a couple of times, doesn’t make you an All-Star lover! If you’re continually turned down after one or two sexual encounters, you’re doing it wrong. If you’re relying on hearsay from your bros on what women want in bed, you’re doing it wrong. If your partner isn’t having an orgasm, you’re probably doing it wrong!
Skillz That Killz
Just what is that ephemeral thing that keeps women coming back for more, you may ask. The answer is: good technique. And, like most other skills, technique doesn’t come from a vacuum. You don’t just wake up one day with great sexual style, any more than you one-day wake up being an amazing bow-hunter. It doesn’t matter how many women you’ve had sex with; if you’re not learning from the experience, you will continue to disappoint.
Show Me, Show Me!
Now, how can a young man learn to be a better lover without a sympathetic (and probably paid) woman taking him under her wing to show him how? Through research, of course! We do research all the time. What’s MLA formatting? Why is my hard drive clicking? How do I play an E chord on the ukulele? But the catch is, this time the information isn’t going to come from your smartphone or computer screen.
Take a Look, It’s In a Book
That’s right, you’re going to do some good, old-fashioned, hard copy reading. While there is plenty of good and insightful information to be found on the Internet, it’s much more difficult to find accurate sexual advice than it is to find most other kinds of info. That’s because sex is a highly subjective experience, wherein some people find it arousing to see women enjoying intercourse with horses, while others would rather never even imagine that possibility.
Infotainment
That being said, there are basics and standards that it appears most people enjoy and find pleasurable. This information is then compiled into books, which are made available to the public, and could subsequently improve literally everyone’s love lives if they were being read. But they aren’t, which is why you’re here today wondering why girls are running from your penis.
Y U NO ORGSM?
Example: you’ve had sex with a few girls. None of them have ever had an orgasm. Why is that? Well, if you care at all about their sexual processes, and in the probability of you having sex in the future, you could try reading a book on the female orgasm to find out. Spoiler alert: it’s all about the clitoris. If you didn’t know that, you would mistakenly continue to just bang the heck out of their vaginas in the hope those 3.5 minutes of continued thrusting would do the trick.
Up Your Game
Here’s the takeaway: if you’re getting cold receptions to your warm feelings, why not try to find out what you could be doing better, instead of hoping your poor technique will eventually work out? There is many and many a book that could assist you, some with helpful diagrams, some with user experiences, all better than whatever you’ve been hearing in your frat house. (SEE: Helpful First Time Tips for Male Virgins) I promise you, a little bedroom knowledge, and they’ll be coming back like boomerangs.
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“Hi…where have you been I’ve been calling you,” she said.
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She looked concerned. “So are we still seeing each other? What’s really wrong?”
“Okay, well I know my penis size isn’t the greatest so I got a penis pump and I’ve been using it for a while now. It broke my junk!”
“Oh, that’s what’s been going on. Well thanks for telling me, goodbye!”
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