Five Reasons Why the Sex Isn't as Good as It Used To Be
You love your partner. It's just...the honeymoon phase is over. The infatuation has faded, and now you're left with real love, the kind of love that allows you to sit comfortably together in the same room for hours without actually saying a word. That's a beautiful thing, but it's not all sunshine and roses. Your sex life, though technically still in existence, doesn't have the same vigor that it once did. It may even feel like you've gone from XXX to PG-13. In order to reverse this disheartening trend, you need to understand why your sex life is floundering in the first place.
Your Sex Life – In Memoriam
Love can last forever, but infatuations fade. You won't see that on a card, but it's true. Your brain releases a cocktail of neurotransmitters that when you fall in love, flood your very being with feelings of euphoria. During that phase, of course the sex remains spectacular. But it's temporary. After awhile, your brain becomes accustomed to the new stimuli, and the drug-like effect wears off.
Of course, that's only one piece of the puzzle. If you and your partner have gotten married, moved into together or started a life with each other, then you must face a completely different set of challenges. From managing finances to keeping up with the kids, a co-dependent life includes many stresses and responsibilities that can wreak havoc on your sex life. When your body releases an excess of stress hormones, even sex itself can become less pleasurable.
And finally, numerous relationship-specific factors can affect your lost intimacy. Do you feel disconnected from your partner? Does tension exist between you and your partner? Do you or your partner suffer from a diminished libido? These questions determine why the sex isn't as hot as it used to be.
Getting the Passion Back
The good news: Your sex life need not remain on life support. Even seasoned couples can restore the kind of heart-pounding sexual excitement that they remember from their courtship during the Eisenhower administration, but restoring the passion will take a bit of effort. For starters, set time aside especially for sex. Send the kids to grandma's house; cast your daily stresses aside; and make time for the two of you.
Spend a day together before sex. Do something that you both love, and more importantly, do something exciting that gets your adrenaline pumping, e.g., a roller coaster or even a skydiving excursion. When the big night finally arrives, appeal to each other's fantasies and don't be afraid to try something different. If you or your partner does suffer from diminished libido, natural herbal remedies can treat this common problem.
Whatever it takes, re-ignite that fire. Your sex life will not only benefit, but your entire relationship will improve. Before long, sex won't feel like such an inconvenience anymore.
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