Like a Door about to Fall off Its Hinges, Her New Boyfriend Complains She’s too Loose for Pleasurable Sex

After giving birth to three kids, she knows her vagina isn’t as tight as it used to be. Now she’s dating a new man who doesn’t hesitate to agree – he told her he has to work harder to orgasm during sex because she’s so loose. Longing to make this relationship work, she wants a remedy that will return her vagina to its previously youthful state.

Case #: 1687

Concern：

I am a 44 year-old mother with three kids. I am divorced from my husband and recently found someone I like and am dating. When we finally had sexual intercourse, it was really embarrassing because I knew it wasn’t going to be the prettiest thing ever, and it wasn’t. He told me I am too loose, and it takes him a very long time to finish as a result. I dreaded this and knew I should have done something right after the pregnancy. Is there anything I can do to make my vagina tighter and possibly restore to where it was before the kids?

Discussion：

When you’re in the midst of giving birth to and caring for three kids, the last thing you want to worry about is your vagina. So don’t beat yourself up too badly – you did what was important, and that was tend to your family. As for the state of your vagina now, we all know this organ doesn’t stay as tight as in youth. It changes with age and, yes, childbirth. Thankfully, the hands of time in this case can be reversed.

Let’s Get to the Truth

First and foremost, the vagina is a muscle that gets stretched during birth. A lot of people tend to think of the vagina as a loose or sagging bag in need of desperate repair. We urge you to forget these stereotypes and remember it is a muscle that, with each delivery, loses some elasticity. One childbirth isn’t enough to cause permanent stretching, but multiple births fatigue the muscle and cause the “looseness” so many women fear.

This fear is perpetuated by men who claim a loose vagina leads to unsatisfactory sex. Into this fold is a general belief that the vagina must be as tight as possible for a man to reach orgasm. But many men don’t want to struggle against a perfectly tight vagina; they want some degree of looseness so they can thrust with the speed and velocity that leads to climax.

Here’s another point to consider: a tight vagina means the woman isn’t ready to have sex, meaning she’s not aroused. Sexual desire causes the vagina to expand and lubricate with natural juices, both of which are necessary to facilitate lovemaking. So expect your v to grow a little looser each time you want to have sex. Then, after you’re finished making love, it’ll return to normal.

Finally, we have to mention the size of your lover’s penis. If he is smaller than average, he may struggle to find satisfaction with intercourse. This brings up another point as well: all vaginas – and penises – are different. He may have had a previous lover whose vaginal walls were more toned than yours, perhaps because she didn’t have children or because she practiced pelvic floor exercises. The point is that no standard exists for vaginal tightness. All women are different, and the two of you need to appreciate these differences rather than resent them.

Put the Sexy Back in Sex

The first thing you and your boyfriend should do is experiment with different sexual positions. Don’t feel tied to one technique – explore each other’s bodies to find that which gives you both pleasure. Maybe you’ll want to increase the foreplay to build sexual tension, or maybe having sex with you on top will add friction to your lovemaking. In either case, use this time to make sex fun and pleasurable.

We should also point out that confidence is sexy, and believing your vagina is loose simply takes away from your internal and external beauty. That organ gave birth to three children, which is no small feat. Take pride in the fact that you’re still a sexual and desirable woman.

In addition to improving your emotional state, it’s a good idea to work on strengthening your pelvic floor. Kegel Balls allow you to do this in complete privacy. (SEE: Vaginal Looseness Restoration with Kegel Balls) You simply insert them into the vagina and hold them in place using your PC muscles. After 15 minutes, you remove them safely and conveniently. You’ll feel the result of your efforts the next time you make love - penetration will be tighter so you both experience more powerful orgasms.