Mr. Right There

She has self-amused since fourteen with a variety of objects. She has an extremely difficult time experiencing orgasm with a man, and has never found her G-Spot. Knowing she won’t orgasm impedes her ability to have a successful relationship, and she moves on, looking for the man who can make her orgasm. What can she do to have an orgasm during sex?

Case #: 1358

Concern：

I have been masturbating since I was about 14, maybe even younger (I am now 21). I have masturbated with everything possible: water jets, vibrators, vibrating back massagers, brush handles, spoons ... anything that puts pressure on my clitoris. Lots of things have been used, up to five times a day. I think maybe because of all the vibration... I have lost feeling in my clitoris during sex

I have had sex with many men and have only ever had an orgasm once with one guy and it was a complete freak accident. He was giving oral sex and the orgasm was so quick it was almost unrecognizable. I have never found my G-Spot. I don’t know what it feels like or where it is. Knowing that I will not orgasm makes me not want to have sex sometimes and means that I don’t really ever get too seriously involved with anyone because the sex becomes boring with the same man when he can never make me orgasm. I end up sleeping with man after man after man. I think, "if he cannot make me orgasm, he is not the right one" and then I move on.

I want to be able to orgasm during sex, should I stop masturbating?

Discussion：

It does sound as though you’ve done a lot of self-exploration, which is very important for orgasm during intercourse. However, have you ever considered that you’re perhaps putting too much pressure on the man to “get you there”? I think it’s a common idea that when a woman meets the right man, he’ll be able to make her orgasm just because, with no help or input from her at all.

It’s Not Him, It’s You

In fact, that’s an almost impossible concept. How can a man, who is not a woman, and doesn’t know what it feels like to be a woman, even if he understands theoretically what feels good to a woman, possibly guess correctly the exact things you like and need to achieve orgasm without any help from you? I’m not sure where women picked up the idea that men innately know, or somehow learn this ability, but it is entirely to our detriment.

That being said, you knowing how to please yourself is a great step forward for womankind and your quest for orgasm. Query: is your clitoris always insensitive of late, or simply during your solo manipulations or partner activities? I wonder if your negative attitude toward the sexual experience is impeding your ability to become fully aroused.

Mind Over Matter

Studies have shown it for years: women who think too much during sex have a much harder time finding orgasm. And I mean thinking about unrelated or stressful things: work deadlines, what your friend said that afternoon, Latin conjugations…not thinking about whatever arouses you. Perhaps entering into an erotic opportunity with the expectations and boredom you’re pre-supposing are destroying your ability to become fully aroused. I know I personally have periods when sex just doesn’t feel as good, and it’s because my mind isn’t in it, or I have already psyched myself out of it.

I can tell you the science behind this, but I think it would be better to just give you some tips on finding your G-Spot, as that’s something you’re interesting in, and suggested what herbal formula you might try to increase your sexual response and enjoyment, which will help you to orgasm more easily.

G-Spot Grooves

Your G-Spot is hypothetically located on the anterior wall of your vagina, about two to three inches up. I say hypothetically, as there are many people, scientists and sex therapists alike, who dispute its existence. I, myself, feel there’s far too much import placed on this tiny area, and that many women are confused about the sensations therein, but I don’t disregard it’s existence and the possibility of increased sexual enjoyment from its stimulation. Just bear in mind that it’s size, shape, and the sensations emanating from vary as widely as one woman does from another.

Many websites teaching you how to find your G-Spot suggest buying a “G-Spot specific” vibrator, with a hooked end. I don’t think this is necessary. It’s very difficult to self-stimulate your G-Spot, so if you can find a partner interested in knowing more about your internal anatomy, with long fingers and a strong wrist and forearm, I feel this is the best method.

I think it’s easier for both of you if you’re on your belly, so supposing you are, have him insert his finger(s) and press down. Start as far back in the vagina as you can, and have him apply pressure evenly whilst moving his fingers back and forth, approaching your vaginal opening. Hopefully, you’ll hit the hot spot. You and he might not be able to physically feel a difference in tissue, but the sensation is unmistakable—it feels as though you have to urinate.

G-Spot stimulation requires strong, sustained pressure to the area; once you find it, keep hitting it. After you recognize the sensation, you can explore with positions to find ones that replicate it. During sex, you probably won’t have the direct pressure you need to orgasm, so you’ll probably also need clitoral stimulation as well. This is when your toy training comes in handy. You can tell him where, how, and how much.

Herbal Help

I’m recommending an herbal formula for you that’s chock full of herbs that increase arousal, sexual response, and proper circulation. (TRY: Orgasm Difficulty Restoration Formula) Horny Goat Weed and Maca both increase desire; Horny Goat Weed increases sexual response such as clitoral erection. Muira Puama is a mood lifter; it helps prepare your mind for sex, and increases positive associations during the act. This is a powerful remedy, and will certainly give a boost to your sex life.

Try to wrap your head around what I told you, do a bit of exploring as far as your G-Spot goes, and begin this formula, and I’m sure you’ll be having a mutually-induced orgasm in no time.

What to do

Passion Kindle Formula for Orgasm Dysfunction

When prolonged sexual excitement has over-produced sex hormones, women will be unable to reach an orgasm and some may develop a gynecological condition characterized by pelvic congestion, pain, and discomfort. Taking this formula, pelvic muscle...