When Life Just Isn’t Fair: She and Her Partner Desperately Want a Baby but Nothing has Worked Yet

She is surrounded by mothers who don’t appreciate their children, when all she wants is to conceive a baby. She and her partner have seemingly done everything right – she’s been tested to ensure her fertility, and they time when they have sex. Still no baby, and she now wants answers.

Case #: 1705

Concern：

Why am I not pregnant yet? We have been trying to conceive for some time now and make sure we have sex regularly, especially during ovulation. What’s wrong with me? I have had my fertility checked and am perfectly capable of becoming pregnant and having a baby. I don’t know what we could be doing wrong. Any idea from where this problem stemmed? All we want is a baby, and I never thought it would be this hard. Everybody has children they don’t want, and now that I want to be a mother, I can’t.

Discussion：

Realizing that pregnancy isn’t as easy as it should be is a harsh lesson, especially when women around you all have children. Like you said, conception should be automatic. You make the necessary preparations, have unprotected sex and voila – you have a baby.

But for the more than 6 million women in America unable to get pregnant, conception is anything but automatic. It’s one thing to read about these people and empathize with their conditions. When you’re the one who can’t conceive, however, you feel alone and defunct – like your body has failed you.

The Reason behind Infertility

In most cases of female infertility, the cause is fairly simple: an absence of ovulation. Digging for the cause of this absence can be far more complex. Some women have blocked fallopian tubes, others have hormonal imbalances and still others need to manage diet and stress to improve their reproductive health.

In a number of cases, infertility relates to a specific condition. Endometriosis is an ailment in which uterine cells travel outside the uterus. Normally those cells grow and remain in the uterus to nourish a developing embryo. If pregnancy doesn’t occur, menstruation removes the cells from the body. But with endometriosis, blood cells and tissues may end up in the bowel or pelvic lining and continue to grow erratically.

Another common condition is polycystic ovarian syndrome (PCOS), marked by ovaries that do not mature to release fertilizable eggs. PCOS is not well-understood, but doctors have determined its foundation is in excessive levels of androgens – “male” hormones produced by both men and women. An imbalance of androgens in the female body interferes with reproductive functions necessary for pregnancy.

When It’s Not the Woman

This information would have you believe a woman is the only party who can grapple with infertility. Just the opposite is true – approximately one-third of all couples’ conception problems come from the man. These issues usually relate to sperm – their size, quality and motility are crucial to fertilizing a mature egg and inducing pregnancy.

When you think of fertilization, remember the egg does not go in search of sperm. Instead the sperm go to the egg, and only the strongest and most able survive. Not all sperm need to be in tip-top shape, but at least a few do to ensure a healthy pregnancy. In addition, sperm need to be strong swimmers and ejaculated in high number. The Mayo Clinic advises a healthy count of 39 million per orgasm.

A Few More Points and Treatment Options

Speaking of quality, eggs must be as healthy as sperm. The measurement for this is less definitive than that for sperm. The only gauge is a woman’s age – ladies under 35 are believed to have healthier eggs than those over 40.

Sometimes, however, infertility cannot be attributed to either the male or female. This condition is unexplained infertility and accounts for around 33 percent of all infertility cases. At the most basic level, this unexplained fertility simply means that medicine cannot find a health problem with either the male or female. Receiving this diagnosis is frustrating but not the end of the world.

How do couples trying to conceive find hope? A simple answer can be found in fertility lubricant. Going back to problems with sperm, the lubricants found in most stores can damage otherwise healthy sperm. (TRY: Lubricants for Fertility Boost) They essentially change the vagina’s environment and make it less hospitable to sperm. To eliminate this possibility, we recommend a water-based formula with balanced pH levels – it’s a highly viable solution for couples who cannot conceive even when they’re doing everything else right.