Gimme All Your Lovin’: He Wants His Wife’s Libido Back

A young-ish married couple is having problems in the bedroom because she’s too tired for sex. She enjoys making love, but work seems to be draining her energy. These two need to rekindle the flame before it burns out completely.
Case #: 1538
Concern：
I am a 42-year-old man, and my wife is 36 years old. My wife works all the time, and when she gets home, she is too tired. Her sex drive is really low, and I want to know if there is anything to help her. She enjoys having sex, but getting her to engage in it is the difficult part because she complains about being tired. I would be really grateful if you helped increase her sex drive, it would save our marriage. Thank you.
Discussion：
Your complaint is seconded by men across the world, but a woman’s sex drive can be influenced by many factors, including stress, fatigue, mood, and hormones. While people tend to think of low libido as only afflicting those who are older, the truth is that men and women of all ages can struggle with it. The best thing to do now is push aside blame and frustration – focus only on your marriage and the needs of your wife. And don’t worry, her libido can be improved without resorting to drastic measures.
Stress, Fatigue and General Well-Being
In 2002, hypoactive sexual desire disorder (HSDD) was recognized by the American Psychiatric Association as a real and complex ailment. Seven years later, a cross-sectional study of women revealed that 43 percent of them struggled with desire. This means the problem is more prevalent than you might think.
HSDD is characterized by low libido as well as the anxiety that comes from not wanting sex. Stress can be especially high in women who perceive their sex drives as harmful to a marriage or other intimate relationship. It might seem small, but stress is one of the most potent poisons to libido. So you see how one causes the other and creates a vicious whirlwind that sucks many women dry of any desire.
Stress can also result from many other factors: financial worries, mounting pressures at work and excessive chores at home. Another problem that marches hand-in-hand with stress is fatigue. Women who are too overwrought to sleep have low energy levels that don’t leave room for romping in the sheets. Instead, these ladies want to conserve their energy for other tasks, and then hit the bed to at last sleep.
Into this densely tangled web is the enjoyment a woman feels from sex. Some engage in intercourse just to please their partners, rendering it as nothing more than a chore, while others continue to engage in the hopes of finally feeling some satisfaction – orgasm eludes many women. It is therefore important for you and your wife to discuss what can be changed and/or improved during intercourse so you both enjoy it as much as possible.
Birth Control and Hormones
Of course, hormones factor largely into libido, especially that of estrogen. For some time it’s been thought testosterone drives a woman’s desire, but researchers now agree estrogen is key. Not coincidentally, progesterone weakens libido. All of this points to the fact that a woman’s hormones must be balanced before she can thoroughly enjoy sex.
A host of factors can throw hormones out of whack, chief among which is birth control. Oral contraceptives introduce chemicals to the body that are treated like estrogen and progesterone. This double-whammy effect can overload the liver until chemicals accumulate in the body, thus making way for hormonal imbalances. The menstrual cycle, diet and age also influence a woman’s hormone levels.
Add Romance Back to Your Marriage
If you want to help your wife’s libido, take your time and show her how much you love her. Don’t apply pressure to have sex. Instead, create romantic evenings that are fun and relaxing. Give each other massages, take your time with kissing and explore each other’s bodies.
Also encourage your wife to take an herbal supplement to boost her desire and make sex intensely pleasurable for both of you. (SEE: Natural Ashwagandha Formula for Libido Boost) Ashwagandha restores essential nutrients to the body, regulates hormones and improves blood flow to the genitals. In other words, it rekindles the flame for couples who need a little help.

What to do

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