Don't Play The Pain Game If You Can’t Take The Pain

Are you interested in having anal sex, but not so much into the pain? Then look no further, your guide to pleasurable anal sex is here!

Case #: 1659

Concern：

I have a fiancé who goes away to work a lot. We have been married for three years now, but he recently left up North to go work. He will be gone four months and it's going to be really tough. We do talk on a daily basis and he continues to talk about anal sex and how he really wants to have it. I am okay with having anal sex but I am not okay with the pain that comes with it. We have tried anal a few times but it hurts a lot and then it becomes so pleasurable. I feel like we are doing something wrong. Are there any tips to make it less painful or safe? I want to please my husband when he comes back. I want him and myself to finally be able to have complete pain free and comfortable anal sex.

Discussion：

Anal sex seems to have such an aura of taboo around it, not because it extra naughty, but because of the possible pain. Many women who have never tried anal believe that it must be extremely painful, which cancels out the whole pleasurable factor for them immediately.

The Pain Game

I personally have dipped my toe in this “taboo” pool a few times, and each was a pleasurable experience. What those many women do not know is that anal sex can be just as pleasing as regular sex, you just need to take a few extra steps to ensure safety the mobility.

Getting Prepared

Before either of you have any kind of sex, you should both share a warm bath or shower. Not only will this help to cleanse your genitals, it will also sooth any tense muscles, including the anus. A sensual massage given by your partner will also do the trick. It is important to calm the mind before engaging in anal intercourse.

Condoms can also be a major help when it comes cleanliness. Just like during regular sex, condoms will ensure that no harmful bacteria is spread between each other’s genitals.

Lube It Up

While staying calm throughout the process is key, the type of lubricant you use is crucial. (SEE: Guide to Selecting the Right Lubricant) There are three types of lubricants; water, oil and silicon based. As a rule, I always stick to water-based lubes because I know they will provide the smoothest ride possible. They are also easier to clean up then oil silicon-based lubes.

There are also silicon-based lubes that will last longer than water or oil, but will also carry a thicker consistency, which is the ideal for some who engage in anal sex. However, these lubes can get pretty messy during application, and if you’re not extra careful they will stain your bed sheets.

Now oil-based lubricants such as baby oil are actually the worst type of lubricants. Not only will oil-based lubricants require an abundant amount of reapplication, some oils can actually leave the anal and vaginal tissues very irritated. And when combined with latex condoms, oil-based lubricants you run the risk of the lube destroying the latex material.

Take Charge

Above all, it is very important that the woman is in charge of the pace and intensity of this type of intercourse. If you feel any pain or uncomfortably at any time, you should stop immediately and take a breather. Have fun with it, try different positions, and relax!