Her Vaginal Muscles Quiver not in Pleasure but in Pain during Intercourse with Her Husband

She was raised to be a good girl and didn’t have sex until after she married. Although she now enjoys intercourse, she experiences pain in the form of muscle spasms. Those spasms are in her vagina and likely result from fear of being hurt.

Case #: 703

Concern：

I am a bit of a traditionalist. I got married in a church. I didn’t have my first kiss till I was 16. And I didn’t have sex till I got married. Sure, I am a bit of a “goody” girl, but that’s how my family raised me. And because I am married, I get to enjoy sex – a lot. Now that I enjoy sex, I tend to notice some slight discomfort during sex. It’s like my body experiences unintentional spasms. What could be the problem?

Discussion：

Sex seems like it should be one of the easiest of all human acts. It is discussed everywhere, from books and magazines to movies and television shows. And being married grants the ultimate reward where enjoying and sharing sexual gratification is not only encouraged, but also expected.

Expectations can, however, get in the way of intimacy. Men are envisaged as strong and confident as they lead women to pleasure, and women in turn are expected to be attractive and pliant. With these traits in place, sex should be effortlessly enjoyable. The reality is that sex takes work and patience, and many women in the meantime experience pain that leaves them thinking they’ve done something wrong.

A Word about Vaginismus

The vaginal pain you’re experiencing does not signify a flaw with your body. It has a name – vaginismus – and is defined as painful vaginal spasms that occur during sex. Muscle spasms throughout the body are fairly common. Take, for example, the infamous charlie horse that can send a jolt of searing pain down your leg. This occurs when muscles harden and tense without relaxing.

The pain associated with vaginismus also results from tense muscles. Tissues known as the PC muscle group surround the vagina and anus and allow such functions as urination, bowel movements and the delivery of babies. They also allow intercourse and orgasm.

One of the most unique features of PC muscles is that they often respond without a woman’s conscious thought. In your case, this muscle group involuntarily spasms before and during sex. Vaginismus can be so severe that it prohibits some women from having intercourse. Others, like you, experience severe pain that impedes all pleasure.

Causes of Vaginismus

Vaginismus falls under the category of sexual dysfunction. This means sex poses a physical and/or emotional problem that keeps you from enjoying it. The potential causes are many and include discomfort or embarrassment with intercourse.

You said you were raised to be a “good” girl. It is therefore possible that although you want sex, you unknowingly associate it with being “bad” and feel ashamed. This would explain the muscle tension you experience during intercourse.

You must also remember that one negative experience can stay with you for a long time. If neither you nor your husband were experienced when you first engaged in intercourse, he may have inadvertently hurt you. You might now associate pain with sex and subconsciously prepare by tensing your muscles.

This cycle of expecting and bracing for pain can be difficult to overcome. It’s important that you talk to your husband and explain the pain you experience and how it makes you feel. Also ask him to stimulate your clitoris during foreplay so you reach orgasm. This will help you link intimacy with pleasure to stop the vaginismus.

Overcome Pain

As you and your husband work together in the bedroom, you can take a natural herbal supplement that will maximize the health of your vagina. Herbs have been used throughout history to alleviate a host of afflictions, from PMS symptoms to sexual dysfunction. Ingredients like Black Cohosh and Dong Quai (FORMUATED: Vaginal RH formula) will be particularly beneficial to you because they balance hormones and improve vaginal tissues. You’ll see the cramping diminish as your sexual pleasure skyrockets.