Pump Up Your Hump: Isn’t Bigger Always Better?
The other day, I was chatting with a few girl friends, talking about, what else, but penises. I think most men would be surprised about how much women tend to talk about guys, their penises, the pros and cons of each specific type, personal preference, growers versus showers, what’s too big, what’s too small, and so on, and so on. We can actually be pretty harsh judges, and the whole thing usually ends up being a chorus of giggles, shouts of laughter, and whispers of, “Shhh! You can’t tell anyone!”
Yes, It Matters
No matter what our personal opinions may be, however, one thing is almost always agreed upon, a man’s size. There are a few women out there who prefer small penises, I will admit, but it’s only because it’s thought that a man with a small penis has compensatory alternate skills. For most of us, it’s a rather nasty shock if, during the big reveal, the reveal ends up being not so big after all.
For Fun and Profit
But for all of you less-than-well-endowed men out there, don’t go throwing your hopes of mutually enjoyable sex out the window just yet. There’s an implement that can boost your…bedroom prowess, and it’s essentially just a toy.
Suck It Up
Penis pumps can be used to suction blood into the penis, resulting in a bigger, firmer erection. The entire concept of a penis pump is a tube into which a penis can be inserted, and the air removed from, creating a vacuum which first elongates penile tissue, then draws blood into it, resulting in a (potentially) monster erection. After the penis is engorged, the seal is broken and the member removed. Congress can now begin in earnest.
Daddy’s Little Helper
Obviously the results don’t last forever, but it’s nice to have a little extra “oomph” sometimes. And unless you whip out penis right in front of us, and proceed to pump it up on site, no one is going to be the wiser about your real size. It’s proven that stress and anxiety negatively influence erection strength—it could be that after a few goes with ancillary assistance you won’t even need the pump anymore.
A Work in Progress
And then there are those that swear by it. I have one friend—let’s call him Nash—who proudly discusses his penile length fluctuations with me whenever we meet up (hey, I didn’t say we had a normal friendship). A couple years back, he excitedly bombarded me with updates on his newest purchase: a penis pump. Did I want to see pictures? Well, no, but…*phone in face*. Surprise, surprise; his penis really did look bigger.
I should have started this story with the information that my friend has what I’m pretty sure amounts to a micropenis. I got to see the before, during, and after of the penis pump treatment. I was amazed to see his penis extended to what looked like almost double, with a girth bonus as well, whilst inserted into the tube. Upon emergence, the penis still looked longer and thicker than usual. Much longer and thicker. Still not interested in you, Nash, but you can at least cross “insufficient penis size” off of the list of reasons why.
Let it Grow
So, if you aren’t getting any callbacks, and you know yourself to be a bit on the small side, why not try a pump? (SEE: Beginner's Guide to Penis Pumps) There are literally thousands of different models—surely one will suit your needs. In a relationship? Surprise your girlfriend. Girlfriends make a play date with your boy; maybe during one of your bondage sessions you can show him who’s really in charge of his cock. It’s sure to be a lively game. With an implement like this, I feel a bit of humor is in order.
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