Goodbye Antidepressants, Hello Premature Ejaculation

Read one woman's frustrated and all-too-familiar account of how her boyfriend's premature ejaculation is killing her sex life. See how antidepressants are connected.

Case #: 811

Concern：

I have recently started dating a man (two months ago) who has been a great friend for many years. When we first started dating, he was taking the antidepressant Paxil to treat anxiety but has quit taking it as the anxiety has gone away since we have been together. Because of the Paxil, when we first started having sex, he could go for a long time without orgasm. But in the last few weeks since he quit taking Paxil, he comes almost immediately upon penetration. Might the Paxil have something to do with it? What do you suggest? I am very interested to know what you have to say, as he has grown frustrated and said last night he no longer enjoys sex, because he knows I am not satisfied and cannot control his orgasm. Please help! We are both in our mid-20's.

Discussion：

Premature ejaculation is one of the great anomalies of the medical industry. We know what causes it, but we don't have a specific pharmaceutical remedy available to treat it. If we did, late night commercials would be rife with images of guys riding mechanical bulls and narrators proclaiming, “Ready to go all night long? Tired of crying in the fetal position after sex? Then ask your doctor about Ejaculong!” But alas, we have no such remedies at this point in time, and so many doctors prescribe antidepressants—and especially SSRIs—for the treatment of premature ejaculation.

SSRIs may not have been specifically developed to treat the humiliating symptoms of P.E., but they do have a tendency to work, as you have experienced firsthand.

The Problem with Antidepressants

Unfortunately, while SSRIs may help your boyfriend to last longer on the merry-go-round, they can have a number of nasty sexual side effects, including diminished libido, weak erection, penis shrinkage, and—ironically--termination of seminal production. So that leaves us with a bit of a conundrum.

You want your boyfriend to last longer in bed, but it's probably not a good idea to go running back to the antidepressants (even though premature ejaculation itself can be very, very depressing).

Chances are, your boyfriend's premature ejaculation comes predominately as the result of a stress response. Antidepressants can help to offset this type of fight-or-flight response which causes stressed out sex machines to rapidly lose their load, but these effects are temporary and superficial. The ideal solution is to manage stress naturally by getting the restless nerves under control. From a physiological standpoint, we also want to strengthen the sympathetic and parasympathetic nerves, thereby improving control of the ejaculatory valve.

Better prostate control means longer sex and less awkwardness in the bedroom.

Slowing Down the Sexual Hour Glass

In addition to communicating with your boyfriend about your needs, I would recommend a specialized herbal remedy that treats the psychological as well as the physiological causes of premature ejaculation. (SEE: Calming Herbal Solution for Premature Ejaculation) For instance, Nacre Calcined is shown to improve nerve ending functions in ejaculation valve nerves, while Passion Flower treats nervous unrest and Tongkat Ali increases nitric oxide production. You may want to break the news to him gently, as we guys tend to have a pretty fragile ego, but in the end, it will be much more satisfying for both of you.