Partner Not Into Role-Playing? Tips for Getting Him Into the Fantasy
Role-playing can improve your relationship with your lover, and it adds some much-needed variety to a monotonous sex life. Admittedly, though, a lot of guys are leery about the concept of role-playing. They would rather just get the job done, roll over and go to sleep. Role-playing takes time, effort, imagination and even a bit of self-confidence. Any self-conscious guy is going to feel ridiculous pretending to be a cowboy in the bedroom.
The Benefits of Role Playing
Before we get into the nitty gritty of how to get your partner in the mood, let's take a brief look at what makes role-playing such a worthwhile endeavor in the first place. We've already touched upon the fact that it allows couples an outlet for creativity, and it can re-ignite a fading flame, but there's more.
For couples, role-playing provides a safe, monogamous atmosphere to explore extramarital fantasies, like a romp with a sexy pool boy or a one-night stand with a mysterious stranger. These types of fantasies are normal and healthy, and since you're not actually cheating, everything is fair game. Just make sure to communicate with your partner and gain a sense of each other’s boundaries before you begin.
When practiced as part of your sexual routine, role-playing can actually bring the two of you closer together. But now for the million-dollar question: How do you actually get your partner on board?
Taking the Plunge
Here's a secret for you, though it's probably one you figured out on your own long ago: Men have a difficult time embracing any sexual experience in which they are not in full control. This is where role-playing can become tricky.
For this activity, the man is forced to surrender some degree of control that can make for an uncomfortable situation. If you want to get your partner on board, try allowing him to take the lead, at least for the first time around. Ask him about his fantasies and desires and play along accordingly. Once he sees how stimulating the experience can be, he'll warm up to it much more readily.
If your partner is self-conscious about looking foolish, start playing the part without any invitation, and keep the facade going until he joins in. Sometimes getting the ball rolling and letting him follow your lead proves helpful. Once he sees how fun and non-threatening the activity can be, he should feel at ease.
Finally, I would note that role-playing doesn't have to be as convoluted as “You're the plumber, and I'm the lonely housewife.” It can be as simple as taking turns in the dominant versus submissive role. So get creative and enjoy it. You may find that role-playing works wonders for your sex life, especially if things have gotten a bit stale as of late.
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