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Jelq It Out: Sounds Weird, Increases Penis Size, We’re All Good
Hey guys, maybe you’ve heard? Size matters. There are all kinds of information trying to tell you differently, but at the end of the day, yes, there is a minimum. I’m not going to say my minimum is the same as another girl’s, but we do have them, and it’s probably more than four or five inches.
Ok, It’s Not Only About Size
It’s true, there is a lot more to sex than just a well-hung lad. It does matter how you use it, not just that you have it. But no matter how tight a girl is, or how hard she can clench, you’ve got to give us something to go on. We can’t make a sow’s ear into a silk purse. Or wasn’t that maybe about vaginas…? Anyways, I’m not here to call you out, and girls will be nice about it, but you ought to know that we really do care about how big you are.
What Am I Supposed to Do?
What are you supposed to do if your God-given gift isn’t much gift at all? Well, you’ve got all kinds of options to choose from. It seems to me that there are more products on the market to increase penis size than almost any other issue—certainly more than there are for balding, having smelly feet, or too much nose hair—all problems you will probably also deal with that need solutions. There are penis pumps, pills, and prosthetics; there are rings, slings, and loops. But what if all you needed was right in the palm of your own hand all the time?

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N-O Onanism!
No, I’m not talking about spending time with Rosie Palm and her five sisters, or not all of them anyway. You get to use two fingers out of five for this trick; so don’t go thinking it’s just a new way to jack off. It’s actually a method for enlarging the corpus cavernosum of the penis—creating more space in the penis, for more blood. More space, more blood, means a bigger erection. But you have to go slooow.
Slow and Low
The process works by pushing liquid (blood) to the end of the penis, thereby stretching the corpus cavernosum, and encouraging more blood to enter. Imagine that your corpus cavernosum is a long, thin balloon. I’m sure we all remember being kids, having a nice balloon animal made for us, then having it gradually lose air over a couple days, until it’s just a couple lumps of air inside a skinny little tube. Then, if you were a child like me, you would push the air bubble out to the end of the tube, stretching it as far as you could, until it popped. Well, that’s essentially what you’re doing with your penis, only hopefully you don’t pop yourself.
Easy Does It
Just kidding, that’s pretty much impossible. However, you can do real damage to yourself by trying to go too far, too fast. You can bruise your penis, which will result in scar tissue, and ruin any chance you had of a normal erection for a while to come. It’s very important that you use plenty of lubrication, don’t overdo it, and take your time.
Jelqing for Dummies
You simply grease up your pole, bring yourself to “half-mast”, wrap your thumb and index finger around the base of your penis—firmly enough to move blood through it, but not tightly enough to create painful friction—and then slide your little finger donut up your shaft, milking the blood out to the end of your penis. Naturally, blood isn’t going to emerge from your tip, it’s more of a guiding sensation. And that’s it!
This method is simple enough to be done anywhere: at home, at work, on your smoke break, during your commute…any time is a good time. But don’t practice more than three times per day, and if you start to notice issues, back down.
Try It Yourself
There’s no reason to be “That Guy” any longer. You’ll soon see results with this technique, and I’m sure your dates won’t be complaining about what you’re bringing to the table. (TRY: Penis Size Enhancing Exercise) Before you get sucked into the penis enlargement cult, try this on your own first. I think you’ll be surprised at how well it works.
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