Too Tired to be Titillated

Overworked female with children finds herself uninterested in sex when she gets a break from everything else. Her husband is irritated that she no longer feels desire or thinks about sex. What can she do to feel arousal and interest once more?

Case #: 766

Concern：

I work two jobs to help support my family; my husband works three. Between work, the kids, PTA meetings, and ever-changing schedules, I find myself stressed, exhausted and frustrated. The time I do have off—all day Sunday—the only thing I want to do is rest. I want to minimize whatever stress has accumulated in my mind throughout the week. And because I feel so stressed, I hardly ever think or desire sex, an issue that irritates my husband. What can I do to feel the passion once again?

Discussion：

I can’t imagine the place you’re in right now. What a stressful life you live! If I were in your shoes, I wouldn’t be much interested in sex either. The fact is, the busier you are, and the more on your plate, the less you’re going to be interested in sex. The reason comes down to pure chemicals. Stress in the body creates cortisol; cortisol inhibits sexual desire and makes it difficult for your mind and body to calm down enough to even enjoy sex if it does occur.

Fatigue is another intercourse detractor. Your adrenal glands become overtaxed during the rest of the week in producing enough energy to keep you up and going. By the time you sit down on Sunday, your body desperately needs to recoup its stores of adrenaline, and it doesn’t view sex as a viable use of these resources. Because females are the receptors in sexual intercourse, the body doesn’t apportion adrenaline for emergency sex, as females don’t really need to do anything during the process. So when the time comes for you to have sex, all you can really do is roll over, rather than sit up and beg.

Share the Load

In order to even want to have sex, you must first rid yourself of your stress and rejuvenate your adrenaline levels. I’m sure you’re sitting there wondering, “How am I supposed to do that with everything else I’ve got going on?” Well, as much as you can, deputize out the things that need doing at home. I’m sure you’ve got a system, but the more you can get done by others, the more energy you’ll have for yourself when it counts.

Time for You

As busy as you are, try to take time out for yourself. I don’t know what your schedule is, but if you could afford a cheap pedicure or massage while your kids are at school and you’re not working, it could definitely benefit you. Massage releases tension and lowers cortisol, while it increases your levels of feel-good hormones: dopamine and serotonin. It might seem like an unnecessary expense, but the results you’ll reap from taking time for yourself will make it more than worth it. And in many areas you can find very cost-efficient massages and pedicures.

Your husband could certainly perform these rituals himself, if he’s the one craving sex. A sensual massage with some Ylang Ylang oil could do wonders to put you in the mood. In many instances, once a female is put into a position of arousal, she will respond, even though she was not the initiator.

Remind your husband that it takes twenty minutes from the beginning of your arousal cycle to the point at which you are fully aroused. He could make full use of that time by touching and stimulating you, drawing you out of your tiredness and anxiety.

Take Two and Meet Me in the Bedroom

Aside from these external suggestions, you might consider taking a supplement designed to increase female libido and arousal. (TRY: Herbal Remedy For Sex Drive Boost) The herbs in this compound increase circulation to the genitals, which helps your body feel aroused, rather than just fatigued. I do hope some of these suggestions aid you in the bedroom; a woman who works as hard as you do deserves a reward! Good luck!