It’s No Source of Pride When a Man’s Penis Causes His Wife Pain during Intercourse

During five years of marriage, she has experienced intercourse pain each time she and her husband are intimate. He is much larger than she, but the real source of trouble likely stems from her fear of being hurt during sex.

Case #: 796

Concern：

My husband’s penis is about 9 inches long. I am a small girl, 5 feet tall, while he is a large man at 6 feet, 10 inches tall. It hurts when he penetrates me, and I have not had an orgasm in five years, since we got married, because of his size. I feel pain and discomfort every time we have sex now.

Discussion：

Although your husband is obviously much larger than you, intercourse should not be painful. The vagina is made to stretch and contract to accommodate a male penis, and your petite size does not negate your body’s ability to do this. Your pain is likely caused by a fear of being hurt, which in turn causes your vaginal muscles to spasm. To prevent further relationship problems, and a permanent aversion to intercourse, you need relaxation and stimulation that will help you enjoy rather than fear sex.

Vaginal Spasms

Vaginal spasms are known as vaginismus and can be caused by a number of factors, including hormonal imbalances, vaginal surgery and fear of sex. The spasms are neither controlled nor voluntary, and they occur in the thick, ridged muscles of the vagina. These muscles are the ones that stretch during intercourse to allow penetration. However, spasms prevent the muscles from expanding so that sex becomes a painful experience.

Your fear of intercourse may stem from the first time you and your husband were together. Because of his size, technique or a combination of both, you may not have been adequately prepared for intercourse and therefore experienced pain. That memory could have led you to associate discomfort with sex for all these years, and now your muscles tense and spasm each time you and your husband are intimate.

Importance of Foreplay

Foreplay is often bypassed in favor of penetration, either because one or both partners is too excited or the need for arousal goes completely unnoticed. Regardless, foreplay is crucial to female enjoyment because it prepares the body for penetration. This is the part of sex that gets blood pumping, juices flowing and skin longing for contact. These positive sexual responses are necessary to prevent pain and discomfort during sex.

To get you in the mood, your husband needs to take his time and ensure you’re lubricated. Kissing, caressing and massaging are great ways to stimulate you before intercourse. During foreplay, he can also bring you to orgasm by stimulating your clitoris. This tiny organ is full of nerve endings that are sure to bring you wave after wave of pleasure. Not only will you enjoy such stimulation, but climaxing before intercourse can cause your vagina to swell so it’s ready for penetration.

Talk to Your Husband

However, your husband won’t know what you need until you talk to him. You should speak openly about the discomfort you feel during sex and ways that the two of you can find mutual pleasure. Tell him he needs to take his time before and during intercourse so you don’t get hurt. Even after penetration, he should go easy and tune himself into your responses. But don’t rely solely on his intuition; vocalize your feelings so you learn to associate sex with pleasure instead of pain.

Enjoy a Beverage

While talking to your husband and learning what satisfies you in bed, you can take matters into your own hands and eliminate pain during intercourse with an herbal tincture. (TRY: Herbal Tincture for Intercourse Pain) Tinctures have been used for thousands of years and harness the healing functions of plants. The blend you need includes such beneficial herbs as White Peony, Ginger, Peppermint, and Licorice. Not only do these herbs reduce pain, but they also have soothing properties that will extinguish your fears and help you relax during sex.