Flame Burning Out? Sex Tips for Older Couples
So you have been together for 10, 20, 30-something years. Who can even count anymore? You have been having sex with the same partner since at least the first Bush administration, and after a while, the intimacy is bound to grow a little stale. Maybe sex has even become a chore, something that you do to unwind every now and then, just to prove to yourself that you've still got it. Deep down, though, you would rather be watching “Dancing with The Stars.” So what happened? And more importantly, how do you restore that unquenchable passion that you vaguely remember from the early days of your courtship?
**According to Psychology Today, the majority of older men suffer not from erectile dysfunction, but from erectile dissatisfaction.**
Take a vacation
The monotony of everyday life is bound to put a damper on your sex life. The day-to-day routine can become downright tedious, and it's easy to forget just how you fell in love in the first place. You need to separate yourself from all of that, and spend some time in a fun, exciting location. It's all about you. For bonus points, travel to a place that has special significance for you and your partner: Where did you go on your honeymoon? Or your first road trip together? By returning to a location where the sex was really hot, it will be much easier to re-ignite that old passion.
Step outside of your comfort zone
If you're still having the same sex in the same position, it's time for something new and different. You and your partner might read an erotica novel together, or act out each other's fantasies. Don't be afraid to explore the wonders of sex toys. The possibilities are endless, but they may require you to think outside the box a bit. There's more to life than missionary sex.
Address the issue of lowered sex drive
For many older couples, the general will to have sex begins to decline. Testosterone and estrogen levels start to drop for men and women respectively, and before you know it, that old spark just isn't there anymore. If your problem is low libido, there are herbal remedies for both men and women that treat diminished sex drive in a safe and natural way. Just because you're getting older doesn't mean that the sex has to fall by the wayside.
**For older couples, sex can be improved by getting in shape or by making love earlier in the day, when energy levels are higher.**
Seek professional counseling
As Psychology Today has noted, erectile dysfunction is fairly common, but erectile dissatisfaction is much more frequent. In other words, the problem often has nothing to do with the physical aspects of sex. Sometimes the problem goes much deeper. If you just can't achieve any sort of intimacy despite your best efforts, speak to a couples' counselor or sex therapist. There may be some underlying issues that need to be addressed.
Finally, remember to make time for each other
Sex is about intimacy. You don't need sex to live, but it can certainly bring you and your partner closer together. Spend time together, do the things that you love, enjoy plenty of laughter, and try to remember why you fell in love in the first place. When you do that, the sex may start to get a lot better on its own.
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