We No Horny! What to Do When Your Sex Life is Dead at 25

Kate Gorrell's picture
By Kate Gorrell Conditions: Women's Low Sex Drive Age: 18 - 35

They’re 25-years-old, but only have sex once every 3 weeks. What’s the problem here? How can they begin having more sex in their lives?

Case #: 
1810

Concern:

Is it normal for a 25-year-old couple to have a low sex drive? We only have sex once every 3 weeks or so, and this isn't anything new, we were always like this. There are those days when we'll be mad at each other, or those days when we'll be extremely loving, but that doesn't seem to change anything. Do you happen to have any ideas on how we can increase our sex drive and be able to engage in more sex, more often?

Discussion:

I think that as long as you are both satisfied with the current situation, there’s no reason to fret about having sex every three weeks. Each person ranks differently on the sexual desire spectrum; some have an almost frenetic desire for sex, while others are fulfilled by the occasional excellent lovemaking session. It’s lucky that the two of you are so well matched; problems arise when one partner wants either more or less sex than the other.
 
That Loving Hormone
However, low sex drive in both sexes is almost always related to an absence of male sex hormones—androgens. In females, androgens promote sex drive and libido. They do the same in males, only to a much larger extent. Without enough androgens, you just don’t desire sex very much.

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What You Need
If you want to have a larger desire for sex, you must either increase your androgens, or trick your body into a sexually responsive mood by circumventing this need. For females needing more androgens, I generally recommend a low-dose testosterone cream. The cream includes just enough testosterone to boost your libido without giving you a full-blown mustache, or adult acne.
 
Males can use a testosterone patch—similar to a nicotine patch—that releases a small amount of testosterone into the body over time. There are also androgen gels that can be used to slowly build testosterone levels.
 
Touch Me, Baby
However, if you don’t feel comfortable taking hormonal supplements, you can trick your body into arousal without feeling the initial desire for sex. You can do this through massage. Massage releases chemical signalers such as dopamine and serotonin, the precursors to sex. If you begin with a sensual massage, you’ll soon be ready for more action. (TRY: Sex Drive Boosting Massage)
 
I give this same advice to mothers with newborns who aren’t feeling the love, so to speak. By triggering sex specific hormones through massage, your body is kicked into intercourse mode, and you’ll want to have sex. Regular massage will help to normalize your hormone levels, and you’ll soon no longer need to rely on it. However, it’s always a pleasant addition to the bedroom.

What to do


Erotic Massage - Boosting Your Sex Drive

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