My Wife Can't Reach Orgasm Due To Her Interstitial Cystitis

Jean Dohm's picture
By Jean Dohm Conditions: Women's Orgasm Difficulty Overactive Bladder Age: 36 - 55

His wife has trouble reaching orgasm because she feels the urge to urinate during sex. Experimenting with a vibrator has led to one incident of incontinence, and she’s afraid to repeat the scenario. He enjoys sex – although he feels guilty when he reaches climax – and wants to make it pleasurable for her as well.

Case #: 


Please, I need you to help me make my wife achieve an orgasm. We tried the vibrator directly on the clitoris and it gave her some pleasure, but if I continue with that she will start to laugh and beg me to stop cause she will feel like she wants to urinate; it happened once, she urinated on the bed. So, I am not encouraged to continue further than that and she will ask me to put my penis in which it will take a shorter time to orgasm than her. Then I will regret it and my wife will be left just like that.


Vibrators are great toys for enhancing sexual intercourse. They allow you to explore each other’s bodies and achieve orgasm with fun and ease. But with interstitial cystitis (IC) – the condition from which your wife suffers – a vibrator increases discomfort rather than pleasure.

The same is also true of sexual intercourse, which applies pressure to an already irritated bladder. IC is not the result of anything you or your wife have done, but she will need your support to manage its symptoms.
IC and Sexual Dysfunction
While the causes of IC are unclear, it is a condition with the power to disrupt lives. It upsets times of intimacy because of the bladder’s proximity to the vagina and cervix; the former sits on top of the latter and moves with them to allow for penetration. Such displacement causes pain and muscle strain when the bladder is irritated – meaning the woman receives no sexual pleasure.
IC also makes it difficult for females to reach orgasm. A woman’s reaction to intercourse relies on three factors: desire, arousal and orgasm. IC interferes with each of these – she is too preoccupied with discomfort to “get in the mood” – and leads to sexual dysfunction.
How IC Causes Overactive Bladder
If problems in the bedroom weren’t enough, IC causes the bladder wall to inflame so the organ’s holding capacity is diminished. In turn the bladder becomes overactive, leading to unexpected and urgent feelings to urinate. In some cases the urgency is so great it triggers incontinence; in other instances a woman may have to urinate up to 100 times per night. 
In addition to orgasm dysfunction and an overactive or painful bladder, IC causes pressure in the pelvic area and pain in the legs. But these symptoms are similar to many pelvic disorders, so the diagnosis of IC can be easily missed. Women with IC may therefore need to speak frankly with health care providers, including divulging information about sexual satisfaction.
Remedies to Restore Health
Females who experience overactive bladder and difficulty with orgasm can benefit from a massage technique known as Thiele Massage. This practice relieves pain and strengthens muscles surrounding the bladder.

Herbal remedies can also ease many of the symptoms associated with IC - ingredients like Chondroitin and Glucosamine support bladder health, while Quercetin reduces inflammation. Blends that contain these herbs ultimately restore sexual pleasure so a couple can once again enjoy time in the bedroom.

What to do

Natural Relief Formula for Painful Bladder & Interstitial Cystitis

Many herbs and ingredients in this formula blend together to relieve the problems associated with pelvic pain, interstitial cystitis symptoms, bladder inflammation, genital discomfort, pain during intercourse, urinary frequency and pain. Read more
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Juni's picture
Juni posted on Sat, 09/16/2017 - 16:51
What your wife might be experiencing is very normal and what some women sometimes refer to as squirting. The way my husband and I would handle this is (and sometimes do) is to lay a towel down and have some fun. Whether she is squirting or urinating (which some believe are the same thing) I feel it shouldn't matter. As long as you make her feel comfortable and show her that you could care less if she urinates or tell her that it turns you on (if it does) that way she feels as comfortable as possible. If it ends up being something that can't be fixed then I truly feel what I said above should be explored instead of her no longer orgasming. Now as far as ways to help fix the issue kegal exercises may help or she chould talk to her gynecologist about physical therapy or exercises she could do at home for pelvic floor distinction. I know you state in your question that it is due to her IC but I didn't read anywhere that she was experiencing any pain. If I'm wrong and she is experiencing pain then that definitely changes things.
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