Nervous Sex – A Recipe for a Soft Performance

Do you feel nervous or inadequate during sex? Watch out, because your performance anxiety may actually lead to all sorts of sexual dysfunction, including leaky penis and premature ejaculation. Learn about one reader's struggle, and see what you can do to conquer those self-sabotaging nerves.

Case #: 436

Concern：

I’m a nervous guy. I tend to freak out about small, insignificant issues in my personal life. My habits have caused a great deal of damage to my sex life too. At first, I found myself a bit anxious during sex. I spent weeks with my partner trying to calm my body to improve my endurance. I saw massive improvement, but now, I fear I am venturing down the same path.

I have noticed excessive pre-cum leaking from my penis. All this added lubrication makes me ejaculate way too quickly. My quick ejaculations make it difficult for my partner to enjoy sex. What can I do to minimize the pre-cum and improve my endurance once again?

Discussion：

Well it definitely sounds like you have your head in the game...problem is, it's not the right head. Sex is an entirely physical activity, and if your brain is constantly analyzing the moment, causing you to second-guess yourself and reminding you of your inadequacies, you can forget about maintaining the intimacy. Your nerves--and stress-- can even cause you to sabotage your own sexual efforts by ejaculating too quickly, or failing to hold a strong erection.

Where's the Love?
It's like the quarterback who loses the big game because he obsesses over how much the fans are counting on him.

You Have to Calm Down to Rise Up

The effects of sexual performance anxiety aren't just psychological; they're also physiological. Without getting all “Dr. Oz” on you, your intimacy fears can actually wear out your endocrine and nervous systems, both of which are essential to spectacular sex.

Specifically, you have two neurotransmitters—GABA and serotonin—which are responsible for healthy nerve function as it pertains to erection and ejaculation. Your nervousness depletes these chemicals, leading to sexual dysfunction, including premature ejaculation.

How Do We Slow The Flow

Pre-cum can be very annoying (especially if you're trying to rely on the pull-out method of birth control), but it serves an important purpose. Without it, ejaculation would be far more difficult and your partner would have to deal with the scourge of a dry penis that starts to feel like sandpaper after a while.

And who wants that? Unfortunately, too much pre-cum can lead to premature ejaculation, and that's not much fun either. But chances are, this harkens back to your performance anxiety problem. Remember, weary nerves deplete your neurotransmitters, and that amounts to heightened sensitivity and an overexcited faucet.

So Now What?
The solution is to get those restless nerves under control. By calming that performance anxiety, you can get your system working at peak performance once again. Think of it like a computer. If too many processes are running at one time, performance is going to suffer.

Herbs like Passion Flower, Os Draconis, Jujube, Licorice, and Schizandra have the effect of calming the nerves, allowing you to focus on the task at hand and give your partner something to smile about. Consider using an herbal remedy with these ingredients. Additionally, remember that sex makes everyone self-conscious. You aren't alone, so just try to quiet your mind and enjoy every moment.