I Am In Love With My Boyfriend But We Have No Fun In Bed Because I Don't Get Horny At All

Kate Gorrell's picture
By Kate Gorrell Conditions: Women's Low Sex Drive Orgasm Difficulty Age: 18 - 35

Woman’s chronic use of vibrators has given her sexual exhaustion. She no longer feels sexual drive or pleasure, and experiences stomach cramps after sex. Why has she lost her libido and pleasure, and how can she once again orgasm and find joy in bed?

Case #: 
607

Concern:

Hi, for the past two years I haven’t really had an orgasm anymore and I don't get horny at all. I love my boyfriend but I am always disappointed that we can't have a good time with sex. I have used vibrators for the past 5 years.

I have no sensation to my clitoris at all; not even a vibrator can get me an orgasm anymore. Every time after sex I have a lot of cramps in my stomach. My boyfriend has tried anything to get me wet or to orgasm but I feel like my vagina and clitoris have no sensation anymore. I want to feel horny again and have an orgasm! Please guide me with anything that I can do to restore myself back. I am in love with my boyfriend but we have no fun in bed because of my problem. Thank you so much for any information that you have for me.

Discussion:

It appears that you have exhausted yourself sexually. You might feel that what you’re experiencing now is anything but exhaustion; however, sustained vibrator use and orgasm have depleted your body of the chemical responses it needs to reach arousal. You have also build up a reserve of hormones and chemicals that you really shouldn’t have in your body. To regain pleasure and orgasm, you must begin to detoxify your body. 
 
The Highs
At the point of orgasm, a hormone is released which causes the genitals to become less sensitive and the person less interested in pursuing more sex. This hormone is prolactin. Normally prolactin levels dissipate within an hour after orgasm, however, when orgasms are occurring continuously, the body is not able to properly dispose of the prolactin, and it begins to build up in the body.

The more the prolactin levels increase, the less likely the person is to want sex, or to garner pleasure from genital stimulation. And there are a medley of hormones that occur simply during arousal—such as cortisol, adrenaline, and noradrenaline.

All three of these are essentially stress hormones; cortisol is THE stress hormone—it causes sugar cravings, anxiety, and depression. It’s also the cause of your stomach cramps, with high amounts of cortisol essentially replicating a mini panic attack. As we all know, stress is the enemy of sex. It has been proved almost across the board that women with high stress levels do not seek out or enjoy sex. Noradrenaline, also known as norepinephrine, inhibits sexual response when present over an extended time.

You might know it also as the “fight-or-flight” hormone. It’s also been suggested that gonadotropin is released at orgasm, similarly to prolactin. Gonatotropin inhibits the action of testosterone, which will come more into play in the next section. The cocktail of these hormones results in your low arousal levels, as well as your poor sensation. The lows to come will explain even more why you’re feeling like you are. 
 
The Lows
With the prolactin and cortisol running amok, other very important hormonal processes are being shut off. Estrogen functions opposite prolactin, and estrogen is what created a healthy vaginal environment—moist and stretchy. Without estrogen, vaginas become dry, vaginal muscles lose tone, and the entire vuvlal area loses sensation due to decreased blood flow. Not only that, but with testosterone levels down, your sexual drive is also tanking. Testosterone is the drive behind sex and arousal in both males and females; without it, you’ll never feel horny.  

Recovery
It is important to begin a course designed to balance and restore female hormone levels. Your body needs to rejuvenate the hormones that are supposed to be present, in order that the high levels of inappropriate hormones and chemicals might be brought down.

I suggest taking an herbal formula designed to help infertility and irregular menstruation—the same plants that help regulate a woman’s hormones for procreation will also help you to achieve healthy levels of estrogen, progesterone and testosterone again. By putting aside your vibrator and taking a restorative supplement, I’m sure you’ll be feeling better in no time!

What to do


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