Act Your Age: A Wife Thinks Her Husband Is Too Old for Sex Because He Suffers from Erectile Dysfunction

Jean Dohm's picture
By Jean Dohm Conditions: Men's Impotence Age: Over 56

She’s ready to give up on sex with her husband because he cannot maintain his erections. She’s not bitter or upset – quite the contrary, she wants advice on how to gently tell him they’re too old to keep trying. She believes sex should stop at a certain age. We, however, are here to tell her she’s wrong.

Case #: 


I no longer want sex with my husband because it’s a disaster every time we try. We’ve been married more than 25 years, and sex used to be wonderful. But he will be 63 in a few months, and I’m afraid he’s just too old to make love. He can’t keep his erections, and they’re not as hard as they once were. He’s in perfect health otherwise. I don’t want to hurt his feelings, but I feel like sex isn’t in the cards for us anymore (I’m 59). Is there anything I can do to let him down gently?


We have good and bad news to share with you. We’ll give the bad news first – you’re wrong about being too old for sex. Some years ago, the idea that people lose their capacity for sex with age prevailed. Society started to dismiss the sexuality of anyone over age 50, and traits like passion and desire were attributed only to the young.
Slowly, these erroneous assumptions are being stamped out. It’s now accepted that people can have satisfying sex well into their 80s – as long as they’re healthy enough for it. So, here’s the good news: you and your husband have many years ahead to enjoy the pleasures of making love. But he first needs to check his hormones. It sounds like an imbalance is the likely culprit behind his erectile dysfunction.

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The Menopause Counterpart
While you have no doubt heard of females with imbalanced hormones, you probably have not heard of the condition with reference to men. But as they age, males naturally lose testosterone and growth hormone levels. The amount lost varies for each person, and symptoms similarly vary – just like females.
One of the most common signs of hormonal imbalance in men is erectile dysfunction (ED). Other symptoms include hair loss, insomnia, depression, irritability, and night sweats. As a female, these signs likely sound familiar; menopause brings many of the same problems. Indeed, some men go through a condition very similar to menopause. It’s known as andropause and refers to an abrupt loss of testosterone.
Not all men experience andropause because testosterone doesn’t always dramatically drop. For some, levels decline each year until production is only a fraction of what it once was. In many cases, men mistake andropause for natural signs of aging. Because symptoms may or may not be gradual, and because not all men experience them, many doctors do not recognize andropause in the patients they treat.
Testosterone and the Male Body
Testosterone to the male body is much like estrogen to the female body. It controls sex drive and stamina, helps build protein and prompts strong erections. Testosterone also balances other hormones in the body, including dopamine and prolactin.
Dopamine is part of the body’s reward circuitry and released at the time of orgasm. While it may seem strange, dopamine also powers hard erections. To be more accurate, dopamine receptors in the brain help men get hard. This is likely in response to the anticipated dopamine released during orgasm.
Testosterone and dopamine are irrevocably linked – as one rises, so does the other. So, waning testosterone leads to waning dopamine. We also mentioned prolactin, a hormone that weakens erections and kills libido. This chemical rises as testosterone and dopamine drop. Here, then, is the chemical imbalance that gives way to ED.
Stop, Repair and Enjoy
We suggest you stop thinking of sex as limited by time and instead focus on helping your husband correct his ED. You can start by giving him a safe herbal remedy made with DHEA. The body naturally makes DHEA as a stimulant for producing testosterone. (SEE: DHEA for Penile Erection Restoration) But, again with age, DHEA levels drop and contribute to hormonal imbalance.
Taking a botanical supplement that contains DHEA can give a boost to depleted hormones. DHEA also combats the effects of ED by improving blood flow to the penis and repairing tissues damaged by age. Sex will no longer be a memory of the past – it will be a definite part of your satisfied future.

What to do

DHEA: Improving Aging Erectile Tissues

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