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4
Ways to Cure Performance Anxiety Understanding
Understand what your fear is about and why it is there to begin
with. Sometimes anxiety is built upon a deeper problem. It’s
not your current partner that frightens you, but rather someone
from your past or current problems outside the bedroom. If you have
an open relationship with your mate, then talk things over to find
out what the problem may be. Usually confronting the problem rather
than trying to avoid the obvious is much more helpful.
Therapy may also be a solution if you need more expert advise about
your sexual problems. Sessions may range from simple talking to
breakthrough techniques like EMDR (Eye Movement Desensitization
Reprocessing). EMDR is a new method of confronting hidden emotional
factors by inducing certain physical responses associated with memory.
Coupled with other traditional methods, EMDR can be a “shortcut”
to curing your anxiety.
Exposure
Another way to combat situations of anxiety is to expose yourself
more to it. It’s kind of like skydiving to get over your fear
of heights. Fears and anxieties are usually manifested in your imagination.
You don’t really know what will happen, but you sure are pretty
good at thinking about the worst-case scenario. By letting yourself
become accustomed to sex, you’ll slowly lose your inhibitions
and concentrate on the moment, rather than on the what-ifs.
Developed by Masters and Johnson some time ago, a therapy method
known as the “sensate focus technique” takes you through
four stages that slowly acclimate you through your fears and anxieties.
By taking the focus off of orgasm, patients are better able to concentrate
on the sensory perceptions involved with sex.
But most importantly, STOP performing. Sex is not a show or a game
where the goal is to climax. There is no audience (well . . . usually
not). There are however the sensations and emotions of kissing,
hugging, massage, oral, licking, and fingering each other. Sex should
be fun and enjoyed in a relaxing atmosphere. By focusing more on
the experience and the moment of just being with your partner, you’ll
worry a lot less about the end result.
Medication
In our microwave-burrito-one-hour-photo-half-hour-sitcom society,
we have become accustomed to wanting things now. So we’ve
resorted to popping anything we can convince our doctors to prescribe.
In severe cases of performance anxiety, a common response is taking
Viagra. Although this may cure the symptom of impotence, it does
not address the root of your anxiety problem. Cases of premature
ejaculation can take low dosages of antidepressants like Zoloft
and Prozac, which have the side effect of delaying ejaculation
for a few minutes. But since these drugs were not intended for PE
use, they will usually create other unwanted side effects such as
the loss of libido.
Relaxants are also a way of easing your tensions about sex. You
may not be able to help what your thinking, but at least your body
won’t know it. Beta-blockers, such as propranolol (known as
Inderal in the US), help by inhibiting the chemicals and hormones
that trigger your body into the fight-or-flight state. You won’t
feel the effects of adrenaline, your heart rate will slow, and blood
will continue to flow to your genitals. There are also corticosteroids,
such as Prednisone, that work by suppressing your immune responses.
These drugs maybe help your body dictate what your mind should feel.
Herbs
A better alternative to pharmaceutical medication is herbal supplements.
Cost-effective and more available than medication, herbs offer a
more natural way of not only helping you relax during sex, but having
the added bonus of healing your body. Since performance anxiety
and premature ejaculation usually stem from a physical problem,
herbal blends help tackle the root cause of your bodily ailment.
Instead of covering up your problems the way Viagra and Zoloft do,
natural ingredients such as Gardenia and Nacre have been shown to
improve causes of performance anxiety. The boost of energy and increased
libido that herbs also offer can give you a better mental outlook
and confidence in your sexual abilities.
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