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You Want Cream
With That? The best part of waking up isn’t coffee in your
cup. It’s actually having an erection that is healthy and
ready to go. And a cup of coffee a day may be just the trick to
keep women away.
Brought to you by the same tasty warm beverage that has given you
such classic turn offs as yellow teeth, smelly breath and several
trips to the can – coffee now has been shown to cause some
levels of premature ejaculation. Which is, coincidentally, the biggest
turn off in the world. And more than likely the same would be true
on other planets as well. Although a lack of gravity probably helps
those penises rise to the occasion. Then again, who’s to say
that alien babes are even worth all the time and effort? But that
isn’t what this article is about. No sir. This is about liquid
cigarettes, the most addictive stuff ever to be blatantly brown
and called black. This is the stuff that has caused a marketing
war between the rainy city of Seattle and the cartel-y country of
Colombia.
The sexual dysfunctions committee (there’s no such thing)
is not the first to point fingers at the addictive beverage known
as coffee. Scientists representing cancer research, dehydration
research, addictive research, Parkinson’s research, as well
as numerous other white coats looking into coffee in liquid and
solid form have done many studies on the effects of coffee. Although
most studies have proven that coffee has little effect on major
diseases, it still – like every other thing on god’s
green and coffee brown earth – has been shown to have negative
effects here and there. Although, one of the most interesting negative
effects is its troublesome cause of premature ejaculation, what
could be even more disturbing is its psychological addiction. Which,
is not unlike how marijuana addiction is described. Yes, a person
can stop at anytime, but they just “don’t want to”
or “don’t feel like it.” Typical, yet strangely
familiar. They may feel differently if they knew their everyday
pick-me-up was also a detrimental factor in a man’s pick-her-up
strategy. Especially if he is looking to impress her. But it’s
safe to say that if a coffee date is in play then you are either
extending a date past dinner and a movie or looking for a reason
to leave the house after waking up arm in arm in leg in leg.
Since most men (and women) in the corporate and non-corporate world
can’t survive or think straight with their morning wonder
drug, and it’s safe to say that neither can or would want
to survive without healthy free-spirited sex – then we have
come to a crossroad. Either take the high road to the coffee rich
hills of premature ejaculation or the low road to sleepy eyed morning
meetings after midnight romps.
Why can’t you have both? Of course you can or else I wouldn’t
be writing this article right now. And you certainly wouldn’t
be reading it. Which is worse? Who’s to say? Probably some
authority on sex. But never mind all that. You’ve got to pull
out the machete and chop your own path through the coffee bean stalks.
This means getting the best of both worlds…a warm cup of coffee
in the morning to keep the dream alive and the heart pumping during
the day and enough energy and sexual control later on to enjoy a
healthy sexual lifestyle. You can do this by naturally combating
the negative effects that coffee causes your sexual system.
The answer is in herbal remedies and it comes in the form of a
goat. Not to bring you cream for you coffee. And certainly not to
provide you a goat hair cozy for your morning commute. Actually,
it comes from the wonder herb known as Horny Goat Weed.
Although the name sounds a little like a garden where forbidden
sexual affairs amongst four legged creatures exists, it’s
actually an extremely old Eastern remedy that has been proven to
not only keep you in control of your ejaculations, but to also help
you last even longer than normal. After all, you know what they
say about Horny Goats? Seriously, do you know? Because I have no
idea. What I do know is this…Horny Goat Weed has been around
for over two thousand years and it’s not planning on going
anywhere. Except in your body to help combat against premature ejaculation.
While the coffee may be detrimental to your prostate’s sexual
function, the Horny Goat Weed will decrease the stress hormone production
and help increase your libido. Horny Goat Weed has also been shown
to have a positive effect on a woman’s sexual health as well.
Asking someone to give up coffee is like asking them to give up
sleep. Literally. But there are ways to avoid the negative effects
of coffee, of which there are very few, but unfortunately those
negative effects have to do with sex. And when it comes down to
a choice between a night between the sheets and a night over coffee
and crumpets – I think I know what we all would pick. Both
- preferably at the same time.
Another herbal answer to the coffee dilemma is Last Longer III.
No, it isn’t the third part in a Mel Gibson movie. It’s
in fact, similar to Horny Goat Weed, because it combats premature
ejaculation and puts you back on top of your sexual game. This means
lasting longer, having more energy, staying hard and healthy and
buying more laundry detergent to wash the bedspread. Which is not
a condiment. As far as I know.
While coffee maybe the breakfast of champions for most people,
it doesn’t need to be the dessert of sexual doom. It’s
time to start fighting the negative effects that Starbucks, Dunkin
Donuts and others don’t put on their labels. Horny Goat Weed’s
name may bring a smile to your face, but the most important thing
is that it will bring a smile to her face, too. And the same goes
for Last Longer IIII.
So, the best part of waking up isn’t only coffee in your
cup. But some doses of Horny Goat Weed or Last Longer III on the
saucer beside it.
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