You Only Get One First Time: The Guide For Male Virgins

Sasha Johnson's picture
By Sasha Johnson Conditions: Men's Sexual Wellbeing Age: 18 - 35

Do you remember your first time? Was it everything you could possibly imagine, or did it lack the excitement you were hoping for?

Case #: 
1888

Concern:

Yesterday, I had sex with my boyfriend for the first time. I'm not a virgin, but I'm pretty sure he is...Or was. He just couldn't seem to calm down, and he kept going limp. It happened like three times. Should I come right out and ask him if he's done this before?

Discussion:

I wish I could say that I can remember my first time like it was yesterday...But I can't. I can recall little things. I know that it was raining outside, it was the middle of the day, and I remember thinking that it wasn't as painful as everyone said it was. Other than that, I've tried to block it from my memory honestly.
 
Let's Get It On
I was probably a fumbling fool. I had never undressed a man before, I probably had never even seen a condom out of its wrapper. One thing I do remember is how hard it was to take his pants off. Why are men's pants designed like chastity belts? It's like they're protecting gold in there, or something!
 
I digress. My point is, we've all had to fumble through our first time. It was horrible and amazing all rolled into one, and hopefully the other person we were with didn't point out how virginal we all were.

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Easing Into Things
As far as asking your boyfriend outright, whether he was a virgin the first time the two of you had sex, I would tread lightly. You obviously care about your partner, and if he was in fact a virgin at the time, he probably doesn't want you to point it out. The last thing you want to do in this situation is embarrass your significant other to no end.
 
What I would suggest you do, is to take advantage of this golden opportunity. You basically have a man that you can teach how to please you, and only you! Obviously, you'll want to practice only positive reinforcement, especially while engaged in the throes of passion. I would stay away from phrases such as, “Not like that” or “You're doing it wrong.”
 
If he's tries something that you're not exactly into, just try to redirect his efforts with phrases like, “Let's try it this way.” Sometimes it can be easier to show him, rather than just telling or explaining what you will enjoy. There is also a multitude of literature out there, that will set your man can skim through during his own time, and will set him on the right track. (SEE: How to Have First Time Sex for Males)
 
There's Always A Chance
Contrary to popular belief, not every man is born with the knowledge of how to give a woman an orgasm. We are all different, and we all experience pleasure through different mediums. There's always a chance that your boyfriend has had sex before, he might have just been very nervous.
 
Women kind of come with this cool phantom device, where we can be nervous and excited, but it doesn't really show on our bodies that much. Imagine if part of having sex required you to keep both nipples erect throughout the entire session. That's a lot of pressure...Especially, if you have one weird lazy nipple like I do.
 
There is always the possibility that your boyfriend just hasn't been intimate with another woman for a long period of time. Sex is pretty much just like riding a bicycle, once you get it down pat, you really never forget how. However, getting back in the saddle again after some period of time can leave some people a little rusty.


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