You Must Knock Before Entering The Back Door


Are you worried about your very first dive into anal sex? Have no fear, lubrication is always here for you!

Case #: 
1879

Concern:

My boyfriend has been hinting around that he wants to try anal sex. I have never been intimate this way, and I am very nervous that it will be painful or uncomfortable. Is there any way to ease our way into this? And is it always painful?

Discussion:

The first time I ever tried anal sex, it was actually pretty enjoyable. I think a lot of women just get too caught up in the possibility of pain, that they just can't relax and really let the pleasure of this type of intimacy wash over them. I think the main reason why my first time went so well, was because of how relaxed I was. Some of the best ways to become, and remain calm involve water. Once you have both talked over your anal possibilities, I would recommend taking a warm bath or a hot shower together. The warm water will help to ease your muscles, which must be relaxed in order for things to go right.
 
You can also have your significant other give you a sensual massage before hand to calm those butterflies in your belly. It is very important to remain calm during foreplay and throughout the sexual experience.
 
Lubrication For All The Nation
Massages and hot baths aside, you must worry about what kind of lube you will be using when the opportunity arises. Lube is an essential tool when it comes to any kind of anal play. It's surprising how many people do not take into account that the anus is not a self lubricating part of the body like the vagina. If you want to have anal sex, you must be prepared for it.

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What Kind Of Lube For You
Many people seem to think that an oil-based lubricant is the best way to go when it comes to the back door. Unfortunately, that notion could not be farther from the truth. Oil-based lubes actually have the ability to do some sever damage to the lining of the anus and vaginal opening. Not to mention, it is the stickiest and messiest of all lubricants. If you're interested in a big sticky mess on your bed sheets, and a damaged anus, then oil-based is probably the lube for you.
 
Silicone-based lubricants are much like oil-based, in that they are very messy as well. You will also have to stop what you're doing and reapply the product several times during intercourse, because the silicone base will dry up pretty quickly.
 
In any situation, I think water-based lubricants are the only way to go. (SEE: Guide for Water-Based Lubricants) It's not as messy, it will do no harm to your anus or vagina, and you won't have to constantly be reapplying it.
 
Are You Ready
You definitely want to ask yourself this question, and really talk it over with your boyfriend. I would only recommend having anal sex with someone that you trust. They must be able to control themselves, and they must stop if you tell them to stop. Do not be afraid to tell your partner if you are feeling any sort of pain throughout the sexual experience.
 
Your partner should never just spring something like anal sex on you in the bedroom. There should at least be a small conversation about what they plan on doing beforehand. Anal sex is not something you do on the fly...Or without lube within arm’s reach.

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