One and Done


Female uses a vibrator once per month and experiences between twenty-five to fifty orgasms at a time. However, she cannot orgasm during oral sex or sexual intercourse. She has a tingling sensation around her vaginal opening, and worries that she’s damaged her clitoris through the use of her vibrator. Can she eventually orgasm during sex?

Case #: 
1409

Concern:

I am writing regarding me using a vibrator once a month and having about 25 to 50 orgasms. When it comes to oral sex or intercourse I cannot orgasm. I do have chronic fatigue and have been taking a hormonal cream to help but it has not helped at all. I have been getting a numb, stinging sensation around my opening but I think it is better now. I am starting to realize I might have messed up my sex drive because of using my vibrator. Can I correct and restore the feeling in my clit from any damage? I want to be able to orgasm during sex.

Discussion:

Using your vibrator once a month isn’t enough to do damage. I’m confused by your chronic fatigue. Do you mean actual, physical fatigue? Or are you referring to sexual fatigue? It seems a little unusual that you would be taking a hormone cream for fatigue unless you’ve been diagnosed as peri-menopausal or menopausal, in which cause your lowered levels of progesterone or increased levels of cortisol could be causing the problem.
 
Age Not Vibration
If such were the case, it’s much more likely that your sex drive issues are linked to age and hormone levels rather than vibrator usage. Vulvodynia can also occur with the hormone declines occurring during menopause, which seems like the true cause of your numbness and stinging. If your hormone cream contains estrogen, this is likely the reason your problem has diminished.
 
A Helping Hand
When you mention that you are unable to orgasm from oral sex and intercourse, do you mean you’re unable to orgasm from intercourse alone? Do you integrate manual stimulation into your sexual intercourse? Are you expecting to be able to orgasm from intercourse alone, with no specific clitoral stimulation?
 
I’m asking more specifically about sexual intercourse, as it’s important to consider one’s definitions of orgasm through intercourse before offering suggestions. As you mention that you can orgasm through the use of a vibrator, I think it extremely likely that you’ll be able to orgasm through oral and physical sexual intercourse; however, I’m sure you will need a good deal more stimulation than you’re probably receiving during these acts.
 
It’s not uncommon for women to need direct clitoral stimulation during sex acts to achieve orgasm, but I’m not sure if that fits into your idea of orgasm during intercourse. As we age, we lose blood flow to our genital area, resulting in less sensitivity. The same things that would benefit you, had you damaged your clitoris due to vibrator overuse, would benefit you for age-related sex issues—increasing blood flow to the genital area, rejuvenating tissue, and strengthening the muscles of your reproductive area.
 
Herbal Help
In your instance, I’m recommending that you begin a formula that will assist you in all the ways I mentioned above. It contains herbs to assist in arousal and sexual response such as Maca and Epimedium. Pyrola and Dong Quai increase circulation and healthy tissue formation. (SEE: Herbal Formula for Clitoral Restoration & Sensitivity Enhancer) Cistanche assists in creating a proper adrenal environment. Mexican Wild Yam can increase the hormones you might be missing, and is a healthy option at any age for feminine sexual health.
 
I’m sure that by beginning this wholesome remedy you will see an improved sexual response, but I do encourage you not to rely solely on indirect clitoral stimulation for sexual satisfaction. You will surely have a much more enjoyable experience with concentrated clitoral action. I wish you the best!

What to do


Natural Clitoral Revitalization – Revive the Sensitivity & Passion

Most modern career-oriented adults sadly discover that as life gets busier, they (and many other couples) indulge in unsatisfying goal-oriented sex. A ‘quickie’ gets the job done. But all this ‘too much’ and ‘too fast’ can numb a woman’s most... Read more
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