He’s Our Man, If He Can’t Do It, No One Can: An Alleged Lady’s Man Needs Help for Premature Ejaculation

Jean Dohm's picture
By Jean Dohm Conditions: Men's Premature Ejaculation Age: 18 - 35

His friends think he’s a lady’s man, but reputations can be deceiving. He admits his bedroom prowess leaves a lot to be desired – he contends with premature ejaculation and cannot control himself during sex. He knows he can no longer deny his condition and wants a natural approach to help him control his body.

Case #: 
1952

Concern:

I am 35 years old, single and never married. I have a reputation for being a lady’s man – I’m not bragging, just telling the truth. But I’m embarrassed to say I am far from it. I can’t control my ejaculations during sex. I come too soon, and up to this point, I’ve tried not to be bothered by this fact. I am bothered, and I want a solution. Sometimes I drink alcohol to soothe my nerves and last longer in bed, but my drinking has gotten out of control a few times, and I’ve not been able to orgasm at all. Is there something real I can do, without taking pill or using strange sex toys? I want to live up to my reputation and maybe even find a woman to love.

Discussion:

It’s true that alcohol delays orgasm, and for this reason some men use it to go the distance in the bedroom. But a fine line separates occasional alcohol use from abuse, meaning you shouldn’t drink to solve premature ejaculation (PE). Nor should you be embarrassed – estimates vary, but up to 30 percent of men have PE. It is more common than erectile dysfunction and plagues males of all ages.
 
Life with PE
Considered a medical condition, not a disease, men with PE cannot delay their orgasms. Some ejaculate prior to penetration or about one minute into sexual intercourse. But this condition is rare; most men simply orgasm too quickly to enjoy sex. This leads to negative feelings of failure and frustration that also extend to partners. Many women in relationships with men who have PE feel disappointed or responsible. If couples don’t communicate, PE can ruin intimate relationships. Or, as in your case, the condition forces men to avoid romance altogether.
 
Despite the havoc it wreaks on both partners, premature ejaculation usually worries women less than men. This is explained by the expectations of men in the bedroom – society demands they give pleasure to both their partners and themselves. Sometimes this creates anxiety that severely impedes the enjoyment of making love.
 
Some men want to be the “best ever” and give their women orgasms every time. The truth, however, is that most women do not hit the big “O” each time. Men should therefore be a little easier on themselves and realize sex is not about being perfect; it’s about giving and receiving pleasure.

Let Herballove Community Help You
Share your story and details. The Herballove Community and experts help answer questions, offer advice and provide you with solutions to your premature ejaculation problems.
 
 Kareem helps you learn a wave of new information about your body. Find out what he has to offer for you.
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 If you want to improve your sexual abilities, Andrew has a few topics you might want to read about.
 
Start your recovery today with your comments below for advice from experts and our members.
 
The Bottom Line
Chances are you climax quickly so women can’t argue with your reputation for being a “lady’s man.” Like the teenager who rushes to finish so his parents don’t catch him masturbating, you’ve conditioned yourself to get in, get done and get out. But what you’ve done is create the opposite effect of what you want. You’re longing for sexual pleasure that comes from intimacy rather than stimulation.
 
Perhaps you think your penis size doesn’t measure up, or you’re worried you don’t have the technique to please a woman. Whatever the cause, you should change your attitude toward sex. You said you want to live up to your reputation of being a lady’s man…you can do this with more than sex. Treat the women with whom you’re intimate like they’re the only females in the world. Be kind and attentive, show your sense of humor and give sincere compliments.
 
By taking your focus off orgasm, you’ll see sex requires many relationship components: respect, comfort and attraction, to name a few. If you have these in place, you’ll more fully enjoy making love. Also, by treating women like partners rather than conquests, you’ll be able to express your emotions if and when you experience PE.
 
Try a Kegel Workout
If it sounds like we’ve been preaching, we only want to give you a fresh perspective on sex. While we’re at it, we recommend a new workout regimen to combat PE: Kegel exercises. (TRY: Kegel Exercises for Ejaculation Control) You typically hear of these with regard to women, but men should also practice. They strengthen the pelvic floor to in turn strengthen penis muscles and improve blood flow to the penis. You’ll see the results in improved erections and better control of your orgasms.
 
With Kegels, you perform them in the intimacy of your home. They eliminate the need for risky pills and sex toys to give you what you want: a more satisfactory sex life. Practice three times a day and enjoy a new you.

What to do


Kegel Exercises for Premature Ejaculation - Step by Step

Strengthen your P.C. muscles with Kegel to stop premature ejaculations. Read more
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