Fake It ‘Til You Make It: Quick Tips for First Timers

Kate Gorrell's picture
By Kate Gorrell Conditions: Men's Sexual Wellbeing Age: 18 - 35

He’s still a virgin, but wants to play it off like he’s an experienced lover. Is there any sort of get-good-in-bed-quick scheme for this young man, or will everyone end up knowing how bad he is in the sack? A few tips for you would-be Lotharios out there.

Case #: 
1895

Concern:

Normally, I wouldn’t admit this to anybody, but I’m a virgin. I have a serious problem…I’ve been dating a girl for awhile and I’m sure she expects me to sleep with her, but I have no idea how! I don’t want to blow it, then everyone would know how bad I am in bed. Is anything I can do to seem less uninformed in a hurry?

Discussion:

Well, the hard part is over. Admitting you’re a virgin is the most difficult part of being one; it’s going to sound hippy-dippy, but virginity is only a state of mind. Just think of all those Born Again-ers out there who see themselves as virgins. At least you’re not deluding yourself on your condition. And to my mind, virginity is nothing to be ashamed of. Whilst it might seem a badge of shame to many young men out there, to me it comes off as being choosy about partners, which is never a bad thing to be.
 
Horny Greenhorn
However, that doesn’t make it a great thing to announce to your potential partner. Like I said, virginity is nothing to be ashamed of, but it does tend to make people feel uncomfortable. Trust me, I’ve been there. It really puts the man into an unusually vulnerable position in our (female) eyes, and keys up our sympathy, rather than our libido. We’ll get you over that baby-faced feeling, and well on your way to steamy sextimes, with a few tips.

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Mind Over Matter
The most important suggestion I have for your is about centering your awareness on your partner, rather than on yourself. And I don’t mean centered on your idea of what she’s thinking of your moves. What I mean is, think of how you like to be touched, what feels good to you, and apply that to your partner. I don’t know a single person who doesn’t enjoy fingertip tickles. Focusing on a woman’s entire body is a great way to show that you’re not completely obsessed with sexing her vagina, although that is probably the case.
 
Take It Easy
Second-most important suggestion: don’t get flustered. If you don’t know how to take her bra off, leave it on and push it up over her breasts instead. It’s sexy, original, you don’t have to look the fool, and she’ll take it off herself when it gets uncomfortable enough. If you don’t know how to put a condom on properly, ask her to do it. Tell her how sexy it is for you to watch her unroll a condom down your cock. Don’t get stressed, keep it light, and improvise if you don’t know how to do something quite right.
 
Bedroom Bookworm
Now, there are plenty of other things you should look into before bedding this young woman. Cunnilingus techniques. Proper condom usage. Switching positions during sex. These are all things you can learn from books. (SEE: Book Tips for Male Virgins) Yes, surprisingly, books continue to be the best sources of information as we progress into the 21st century. I’m sure you know how to cram for tests; take the information you think will be most relevant and memorize it thoroughly. Practice makes perfect, right? I’m sure you’ll do fine, just stay cool. Now, go get ‘em, tiger!


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