Don’t Accuse Until You Have Your Facts: His Wife Wrongly Blames His Erectile Dysfunction on Cheating

Jean Dohm's picture
By Jean Dohm Conditions: Men's Impotence Causes: stress & anxiety Age: 36 - 55

He has erectile dysfunction caused by work stress, but his wife is convinced he’s cheating. She’s getting the wrong impression from his repeated “no” to sex. When they do make love, the results are less than great. He only achieves semi-hardness, comes quickly and feels exhausted after. Right now, his sexual problems feel exactly like that: problems.

Case #: 
2061

Concern:

When a woman feels tired, all she has to say is no to sex, and that answer is the law. But when a man says the same thing, he’s immediately accused of cheating. My story is simple: I work really long and stressful hours as a police officer. Lately, the stress has started to affect me, and I don’t have the energy for sex. I try to get in the mood just to make my wife happy, but my erections aren’t even hard. I come really quickly and feel exhausted immediately after. This chain of events is starting to wear me down even more – I know I have erectile dysfunction, but I don’t know what to do about it. It feels like just another problem to solve, especially because my wife thinks I’m having an affair.

Discussion:

A marriage can head south for any number of reasons: financial problems, boredom, child rearing, different interests, and lack of sex. There, we said it. Lack of sex will put a divide between you and your spouse the likes of which rivals the Grand Canyon. Even worse, if one of you jumps to conclusions or simmers in silence, the affect will be permanent ruin.
 
The Nasty Effects of Stress
Everybody knows stress wreaks havoc on the body. It causes weight gain and depression. In severe, long-term cases, stress can weaken immunity and contribute to heart disease. Oh, and we almost forgot to mention its contribution to erectile dysfunction (ED).
 
Stress impedes sexual response by changing hormone levels in the body. Cortisol, released in response to stress, operates in an axis with testosterone. As cortisol increases, testosterone drops. This is the first step to not only diminishing erectile quality, but also zapping your libido.
 
Cortisol interferes in the same way with dopamine levels. Again, going back to the axis effect, its elevation means a drop in dopamine. Your mood and energy subsequently hit a wall so that sex becomes the last thing you want. Erections become increasingly difficult to achieve, especially in conjunction with low testosterone. Meanwhile, when you do manage to achieve an erection and make love, the overall chemical imbalance leads to a weaker, less fulfilling orgasm.

Let Herballove Community Help You
We want your voice and opinions heard, so share your story and details with the Herballove Community to receive expert and member advice, support for your recovery and solutions to your impotence.
 
 Discover more about your sex-related issues from Jeff.
 Yunbo's page explores several new issues men like you might be unfamiliar with.
 If you want to improve your sexual abilities, Andrew has a few topics you might want to read about.
 Kunal's blog researches some of the most important information men should know about their health.
 Jose's page features an array of useful case studies related to men's health.
 
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Poor Sleep Quality
Any health professional will tell you stress goes hand-in-hand with insomnia. The culprit here is, you guessed it, public enemy number one: cortisol. While a lack of sleep is a condition in and of itself, it also interferes with sexual function. You’d rather rest than have sex, and it’s hard to reach a sustainable level of excitement that prompts a strong, rigid hard-on. In other words, your body needs rest in order to undergo the complex processes necessary for desire and erection.
 
In discussing the effects of elevated cortisol, we need to tell you how to lower it. One way is by simply laughing. You can also listen to music and/or spend time with the ones you love. Combine all three, and you might be able to manage stress with more ease than you previously thought.
 
Inside Your Wife’s Head
It’s possible your wife has been cheated on before, or maybe her father was unfaithful to her mother. Whatever the reason for her immediate suspicion, it needs to be addressed. Tell her up front that you’re stressed and explain why. You may need the help of a marriage counselor if she still doesn’t listen. In any event, stopping the worries in her head will keep the two of you from saying things you later regret.
 
Shape Up and Put Out
You might find that lowering your cortisol levels is a time-consuming endeavor. The body requires a delicate, intricate balance of chemicals to operate on all cylinders. While this balance can be easily disrupted, it’s not so easily corrected.
 
As you learn to adjust your body, you cannot forget about your marriage. Cynomorium is an herb traditionally used by the Chinese to treat ED. (SEE: Cynomorium for Maximum Erection Support) Interestingly, this civilization started experimenting with Cynomorium because of its phallic shape – its resemblance to the penis made it an obvious choice for revitalizing weak erections.
 
Cynomorium has proven to increase blood flow to the penis. This is exactly what’s needed for harder, more sustainable erections. To help get you in the mood, Cynomorium also improves penile sensitivity. You’ll no longer turn down sex – you’ll be a newly-made “yes” man.

What to do


Feel The Stiffness with Cynomorium

The pulsating sensation of an orgasm can engulf a woman in sweat—and bliss. Read more
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