Bedroom Woes: She’s not Stretching the Truth When She Says She Hasn’t Cheated, Her Vagina is Simply a Little Looser

Jean Dohm's picture
By Jean Dohm Conditions: Women's Vaginal Looseness Age: 18 - 35

Her husband accuses her of cheating each time they make love and then go for a second round. Her vagina is tight for the first bout but then is looser afterward. The culprit isn’t infidelity, but simply fatigued muscles that need time to recover before they return to normal.

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My husband swears that I have cheated on him. He says this because whenever we have sex, my vagina is really tight. Then, when he has rested up to go at it again, it is loose. He says I am cheating, but I’m not. Is there a way I can always keep my vagina tight? It makes sex a lot better, too, because I have felt it loosen up.


It’s hard to convince a husband you’re not cheating when he thinks you are, especially if he’s using your anatomy as evidence. The vagina does stretch during intercourse, but only temporarily. You know this to be true because after a respite, your vagina is again tight.
Basic Nature of the Vagina
To understand the vagina, you need to understand that tightness is a relative concept. Each woman’s body is different, meaning each vagina has its own degree of looseness. Many factors influence the vagina’s muscle stature, including birth control, menstruation and age. It is therefore safe to say your vagina today is probably different from what it was 10 years ago.
The vagina is actually a hollow muscle designed to expand and contract when necessary. You feel this naturally occur during sex. The muscle that composes the vagina is strong and rigid to allow the organ to return to its normal shape after almost any incidence of stretching.
Childbirth is one of only two events that cause the vagina to permanently lose some of its elasticity – to better understand, consider the way in which a rubber band becomes loose and weak after multiple uses. The other event is menopause, in which waning estrogen levels turn vaginal tissues from lush and firm to soft and dry. We also discussed the ways in which the vagina changes naturally with age, particularly during times of menstruation and/or with birth control. Both of these scenarios alter estrogen levels, which can again promote some degree of looseness.

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Fact or Fiction: Sex Causes Vaginal Looseness
Despite popular belief, sex does not cause the vagina to permanently lose its shape. Intercourse causes temporary muscle stretching to accommodate a penis. The walls of the vagina are similar to an accordion, and when not in use they lie against each other like pleats in a skirt. During intercourse, the pleats separate and cause the vagina to expand by as much as two inches.
After expanding, vaginal walls need some time before they to normal. This explains the “stretching” your husband notices when he’s ready to make love for the second time in one night. But even an exceptionally large penis will not permanently stretch the vagina – it just needs to recover after each session of sex. Your husband should understand because he probably needs to rest before achieving a second erection.
The Red Flag of Suspicion
With regard to your husband, now might be a good time to evaluate your marriage. You shouldn’t have to convince the one you love you’re not cheating. It’s possible he was hurt in a previous relationship or as a child and now has difficulty trusting others. In either case, helping to understand why he doesn’t believe you will help overcome the situation.
However, if he is controlling or tries to be the superior partner in your marriage, the two of you may need to speak to a counselor. A marriage is a partnership, and not one in which he can discount your feelings. Speak openly with your husband reassure him of your loyalty, but don’t let him manipulate you with accusations.
A Tighter V
You can perform exercises, like Kegel, to specifically tighten your vagina. But this method does not always work, and if performed incorrectly – such as while urinating – it can actually weaken your bladder. A better alternative is the use of Kegel balls, which allow for direct and intense strengthening of the pelvic floor. (SEE: Kegel Balls for Vaginal Looseness Restoration) This is crucial to tighter vaginal muscles that will improve the quality of sex and show your husband once and for all you’re not cheating.

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Kegel Balls For Vaginal Looseness and Incontinence

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