Ready, Set Go: With Premature Ejaculation, Sex Becomes a Race for Both Partners to Orgasm Before the Flame Cools
Nearly everyone likes dessert. Part of the appeal is anticipation for a sweet bite of decadence. But some people get a little over-excited and eat quickly – perhaps too quickly to enjoy the experience.
“I once had a patient who likened sex to dessert,” says Roger Bingley, MD. “Just as some people eat rapidly, this patient came rapidly. He became so excited he couldn’t control himself. Then he rolled over in exhaustion and fell asleep. Meanwhile, his wife had to use a vibrator to finish what he started. Their separate sex lives were sad.”
A Doctor Tell-All
Roger specializes in sexual disorders and has treated countless men for premature ejaculation (PE). This complaint is the most common of males under 40. Some are so embarrassed by their conditions they struggle to express their feelings. Others try to casually mention PE as if hoping for reassurance.
“Men see PE as too big to manage,” Roger says. “They try to laugh it off, but it’s a serious problem. I don’t mean serious in terms of physical health, but serious in terms of mental well-being. It shatters confidence.”
Premature ejaculation has no scientific definition and is rooted more in opinion than medicine. For instance, a man who reaches orgasm within five minutes of initiating sex may or may not have PE. The deciding factors are his feelings about his own performance.
“If a man wants to last longer in bed but cannot, we say he has premature ejaculation,” Roger explains. “But if he’s satisfied with his endurance, he has no problem. PE is a condition based on perspective.”
The Partner’s Point of View
Of course, a man romantically involved has more than his own feelings to consider. He must also account for his partner’s pleasure, because healthy sex needs to be a two-way street. This is why the partner’s point of view also weighs into the PE diagnosis.
“The patient I mentioned earlier never would have met me if his wife hadn’t insisted he get some help,” Roger says. “He was willing to accept his sexual dysfunction, not because he was selfish, but because he didn’t want to question it. He didn’t want to address premature ejaculation.”
Most men don’t know it, but women also suffer when PE prevails. They agonize for their partners’ embarrassment and also for a general sense of helplessness. “We as a society need to be more accepting of body differences,” Roger advises. “Then we can openly discuss problems like PE and find solutions – not simply sweep them under the rug.”
Have Fun and Last Longer
Roger’s foremost task with PE patients is to help them correct the condition. He says men usually know about devices like penis pumps and cock rings designed to keep an erection harder for longer. “But these toys, if you will, can be uncomfortable,” Roger says. “They also put the responsibility entirely on the man, which can again affect performance. I tell my patients to instead try premature ejaculation cream, or stamina balm.” (TRY: Longer Lasting Ejaculation Control Creams)
Stamina balms like Roger recommends can be incorporated into lovemaking so they become sensual rather than clinical. They come in a variety of options, including gels, sprays and lubricants, to allow a couple to customize their experience. After applied to the penis, each product basically works the same: to help a man last longer for more satisfactory sex.
Roger says, “My goal with every patient is to help him create a more fulfilling sex life. For men with premature ejaculation, stamina balms work wonders. I recommend them because they’re safe and effective.”
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