Don't Get Carried Away by Performance

People treat sex like a performance review. They rate attendance and participation. They rate the level of effectiveness at completing certain tasks. They even judge a person’s attitude toward sex—positive, negative and neutral. Before you start to take this review too serious, understand that you shouldn’t weigh performance too much, and here’s why:
 

Performance Is for Show—Not Lovemaking

Pornography is a show. Strip clubs are for show. Adult conventions, you guessed it, are for show. Sex, we-are-happily-and-in-love sex, is for expression. Sex expresses your love and desire for a person. The act should not be judged by your performance, duration, size or sounds, but instead should be viewed for the pleasure and satisfaction expressed during sex.
 

How To Improve Your Lovemaking

You can read thousands of advice columns and articles on how to make love, but never improve your skills. Why? Because effective lovemaking will vary from partner to partner. What one man or woman may enjoy may not be what someone else will like. Your skills, techniques and moves should appeal to your partner. Still, these general guidelines provide an idea for what a partner may enjoy.
 
Touch: Touch is a powerful feeling for reaching an orgasm. Touch your partner everywhere. His hips. Her neck. His lower abdomen. Everyone has sensitive areas that when touched or massaged increase stimulation. Find and touch these areas to provide the best stimulation possible.
 
Pace: Treat sex like a marathon: Slow and steady will win the race. If you’re aiming to set a record for speed, you won’t win any recognition—especially not from your partner. Men can reach an orgasm faster than women, and a man’s speed should increase gradually with time.
 
Avoid Routine: Remember how great sex felt when you first met your partner? It felt amazing because it was new. After a few years in a relationship, sex can turn stale. Keep sex fresh and interesting to maintain your romance and appeal.
 
As you travel through your sexual journey, you might find partners who know how to please your needs. You might find partners who have no clue what to do. Remember, sex is an expression—not a show. If you focus more on the show than the expression, you might find yourself a bit upset.