Sexual inexperience and performance anxiety is a common cause of premature ejaculation. The solution can be just as common.
Question:
My boyfriend is 16 and so am I. We have had sex 4 times. 3 of the 4 times, he only lasted 3 minutes and he gets very stressed about it because he didn’t bring me to orgasm. And the 4th time he lasted 15 minutes, which was great! How can I make him delay the orgasm??
Answer:
What you are describing is sometimes referred to as “performance anxiety.” This cause of early orgasm is very common among teens and young men, especially during their first sexual experience or sex with a new partner. The problem he has is simply being too nervous and excited. His intense emotions have a very real physical effect upon his body. Unfortunately, this effect causes him to orgasm quickly.
The first time he quickly climaxed might be due to nerves, because he’s never had sex with you. (If it’s his first time ever, then it’ll be even harder for him.) The couple of times afterwards where he only lasted three minutes was partly due to the new experience of sex, but now the stress of not lasting long enough for you and bringing you to an orgasm creates more problems for his body to handle.
The fourth time where he was finally able to last fifteen minutes is probably because he is beginning to relax enough while having sex with you. Comfort takes time. The more you two have sex (I hope you two are using protection), the more relaxed he will be and able to delay his orgasm.
If that was a one-time occurrence and it continues to happen, there are a few things you can try. First, let him know you’re okay with it. Let him know you’re not going to leave him or think he’s less of a man because he can’t last long enough for you.
Premature ejaculation is a very common problem for men. He’s not a freak and he’s not alone. You need to build his ego and let him know he has nothing to be ashamed about.
Second, even though I know you want to orgasm too, both you and him should realize it might not happen yet – or at all. Some women are just unable to reach orgasm through sex. Also, every woman is different. He’s not going to know how to get you there unless you teach him.
Third, his masturbation habits away from you might be putting a monkey wrench in the works. Masturbating can make a man orgasm faster than normal. Also, several important nutrients and hormones are lost. By reducing (or even quitting, while he’s having sex with you) masturbation or by replacing the essential substances through better diet and especially dietary supplements that contain epimedium, dang gui, cnidium fruit, and cistanche, his body will have all the needed fuel to not only hold back his orgasm but have the extra energy to keep on going.
Also look for soothing ingredients like gardenia and white peony to help calm the body. Taking all these, coupled with support from you, will help him delay his orgasm easily.
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